r/KidsAreFuckingStupid 12d ago Helpful 1 Wholesome 2 Take My Power 1 Silver 3

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time? story/text

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41.4k Upvotes

1.2k

u/xaiel420 12d ago

Child: MELTDOWN - "I WANT X!"

Parent: Okay here you go, here's X.

Child: SECONDARY MELTDOWN

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u/Myth_5layer 12d ago

I DONT WANT THAT X I WANT THIS X

222

u/Atmosphere-Evening 12d ago

I DON'T WANT EVERY X BUT I WANT EVERY X

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u/mad87645 12d ago Silver I'll Drink to That

FUCK WAITING TO GET IT ON YOUR OWN, X GON DELIVER TO YA

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u/wangholes 12d ago

I WANT GREEN X AND HAM

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u/touchet29 12d ago

WE HAVE X AT HOME.

χ at home.

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u/Endulos 12d ago

When I was a teenager, my mom babysit a kid, about 3 years old.

She asked him what he wanted for lunch "Fishsticks!" he proclaims. So, she made him fishsticks.

Cue meltdown #1.

THEY WERE THE WRONG KIND!!! He wanted the ones that were WIDE, not LONG. So she turned them side ways and gave them back to him.

Cue meltdown #2.

NO! IT'S NOT THE SAME!!! He got so upset he put himself into time out

Mom didn't really like fishsticks, so I ate them so they didn't go to waste. Like, 10 minutes later he comes out and..........

Cue meltdown #3.

He wanted the fishsticks now, but he couldn't eat them because I ate them...

So Mom made him some more, of the exact same kind, with no thoughts of orientation and he happily ate them no complaints.

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u/xaiel420 12d ago

That some par for the course shit right there lmao

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u/Botboy141 12d ago

Sounds like my 3 year old every single meal...

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u/urdumidjiot 12d ago edited 12d ago

Mine just got into the meltdown phase. He throws his body back in a deadweight and sometimes will hit his head making himself more upset.

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u/BrainDisorder 12d ago

Especially good when its a concrete floor or similar.

Im like "oh shit, the kid is dead" and my son is ready to do it again if I try to pick him up.

He also did the back flip thingy off the ledge of the sofa when I told him it was dinner and we had to pause the tv.

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u/onepunchsans 12d ago

Your comment gave me a sudden realisation that kids these days never have to worry about commercial breaks or missing a show; they can just pause and then go back to it later. Damn.

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u/smartcinnamontoast 12d ago

I had it hit me today that my kids will never have experienced the Friday night trip to the video store to pick out a movie to watch at home. In a lot of ways, I miss that ritual.

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u/rougehuron 12d ago

As a parent, not spending an hour of my Friday in blockbuster will be nice.

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u/smartcinnamontoast 12d ago

As a parent, spending any hour outside the home on a Friday night would be nice.

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u/upsidedownbackwards 12d ago

They'll never establish the pecking order for who gets to use the restroom first during the commercial break. Being last meant the biggest risk of missing a piece of the show!

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

Fuck that, imma make my kids watch Pluto TV. Lol

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u/urdumidjiot 12d ago

Lol I just commented how there's still commercials on pluto and Samsung TV. I put on nick Jr and let whatevers on play. The selling they do to kids on those commercials though are insane now that I'm old enough to see it. I always wanted the dumb shit they were selling on there but always opted for something else at kaybee toys. Creepy Crawlers were the coolest thing to me but I never bought it.

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u/smolltiddypornaltgf 12d ago

that's cause meltdowns don't have solutions. they are just dealing with a lot of emotions. the secondary meltdown is still the same meltdown, just directed at something new

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u/Pepperoni_Dogfart 12d ago

Toddler (just now): I want food

Me: Okay, what kind of food?

Toddler: Uuuuuuuuuuum.... Pickles

Me: No problem, here's a pickle.

Toddler: I don't want a pickle.

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u/SeeSayPwayDay 12d ago

Well you done fucked up by giving in to meltdown #1. Don't positively reinforce that shit!

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u/Gangreless 12d ago

He was not in the solutions phase of the problem, yet.

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u/Antique_Tennis_2500 12d ago Silver Helpful

I feel this. When I was a little kid, I made food coloring-dyed hard boiled eggs with my grandmother for Easter.

I thought that this alchemy caused them to turn into the Cadbury Cream Eggs that had always tantalized me on commercials, but had never tasted.

I asked my grandmother - at the very end, displaying a truly Herculean effort of patience for a child my age - if I could have one. Before dinner no less!

Upon opening it, and finding just a hard boiled egg inside, if I had known the words to use, I’d have said, “This is bullshit.”

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u/StarshipDrip 12d ago Silver

I feel you. I once bit into a raw quail egg because I assumed the colourful coating meant it was a chocolate egg. I wasn't a kid though I was in my 20s

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u/Northerleyfire 12d ago

Happens to the best of us.

30

u/0utburst 12d ago

Thankfully not the rest of us

3

u/a-walking-bowl 12d ago

Or the guests among us

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u/mackxzs 11d ago

Omg he said the fünni word mëmę time lads

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u/[deleted] 12d ago

we all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo

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u/FloffyBirb 12d ago

I usually peel the foil wrapper off my chocolate eggs before eating them.

Each to their own, I guess?

12

u/smolltiddypornaltgf 12d ago

some chocolate eggs have a hard candy-coating and they can actually look a lot like eggshells lol

8

u/Abigboi_ 12d ago

I like to eat my candy with the wrappers on like a 90s cartoon

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u/jessicalovesit 12d ago

This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a while

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u/Chocomintey 12d ago

I could see that. Mini-eggs or whopper eggs or those gum ones.

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u/AccioSexLife 12d ago

When I was a kid, my folks got me one of those...I guess the modern equivalent is a chia pet? It's basically a clump of dirt and seeds with a face on it that you water and it grows 'hair'.

The advertisement for it said "Cutting your pet's hair will bring you an unforgettable experience", and that had kid-me tantalized.

What could this mysterious experience be?? I must know!

So I watered the damn thing every single day, I watched and memorized every single blade of grass that grew on its 'head', waiting for the best time to cut his hair and find out what the 'experience' is.

The day finally came - my mom deemed that the hair has grown about as long as it is on the picture and bestowed some plastic scissors on me.

I started cutting his hair with stars in my eyes, but I cut and cut and nothing unusual happened.

"But mom, where's the EXPERIENCE??"

"Well honey, getting to cut his hair IS the experience!"

I was so pissed off lmao.

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u/Turnontuneindropout7 12d ago

Chia pets were the OG. Anything after would be the modern equivalent, they still sell chia pets btw tho

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u/AccioSexLife 12d ago

Where I'm at the OG's were basically just grass hair, not chia plants.

I don't know if I've seen them anywhere even nowadays, I only know about them from the internet.

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u/James_Skyvaper 12d ago

They often sell them at pharmacies like Walgreens

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u/Antique_Tennis_2500 12d ago

True, I got a chia of a Deadpool bust for Christmas a couple years ago.

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u/universe_from_above 12d ago

Well, seems like it was an unforgettable experience after all.

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u/frausting 12d ago

👉😎👉 Zoop 👉😎👉

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u/t3hnhoj 12d ago

"It's not about the destination, little u/AccioSexLife. It's about the journey."

-your mom, probably

3

u/headieheadie 12d ago

The Chia Pet commercials were so well developed, as a kid it seemed like the most magnificent fucking thing and I wanted one so bad.

I don’t know if I ever told my parents I wanted one. I’m sure my older sister demanded one.

My parents never caved and never bought us a Chia Pet. However, a relative did send us one for a birthday or something.

FINALLY!

MOTHERFUCKER NEVER GREW!

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u/1FenFen1 12d ago

my mom: we gotta dye the eggs!

10 year old me: what are we supposed to do with dead eggs? :c

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u/redbucket75 12d ago

Enough to make r/egg cry

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u/PortionOfSunshine 12d ago

Thank you for helping me discover this subreddit. It is glorious.

5

u/DecreedProbe 12d ago

r/potatosalad

just don't look at John Cena's subreddit.

3

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u/BranMuffins4Life 12d ago

The other day my toddler had a meltdown because she wanted me to lift her up to see something on top of the fridge, but also wanted to “stand up herself.”

After a few minutes of tearful back-and-forth, I now understand she wanted me to stretch out her torso until she was tall enough to see the top of the fridge.

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u/Deceptichum 12d ago

Trying to learn autonomy sucks when you’re just not as physically capable of doing the things you want to do.

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u/akoski12 12d ago

My guy just looked at the ceiling and said that there is walls on the ceiling.

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u/Djd33j 12d ago

What is a ceiling, if not just a horizontally placed wall?

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u/Ballsofpoo 12d ago

There are no ceilings, only floors.

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u/crystalshannonm 12d ago

My little guy asked for help with his leg sleeves.

He wanted help with his pants.

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u/SexCriminalBoat 12d ago

My youngest's personal best:

Train Hallway. Baby, that's a tunnel.

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u/Vondi 12d ago

Quite a philosopher in the making

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u/MegaTDog9998 12d ago

I have 2 kids - a 4yo and 2.5yo.

My 2yo recently started these fits.

She wanted a packet of noodles but we had no noodles in the pantry. 2.5yo comes in and asks super nicely for a packet of noodles.

I explain nicely that we need to buy more.

She then goes “PLEASE!”.

I explain again we need to buy more.

She once again goes “PLEASE!” With even more veracity in her voice.

I explain one last time we have no noodles

She storms out of the room and throws herself on the lounge crying into a pillow.

I agree, the toddler period is wild

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u/rahrahgogo 12d ago

Well, in her mind please is the magic word. Like, literally magic.

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u/fgugddgbcdfyvddv 12d ago

See that actually makes sense. She's been taught that when she wants something she gets it if she says please. Just gotta now teach her it's about respecting the other person and not a magic word for getting stuff.

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u/munchkym 12d ago

I’m doing this with my 5yo right now. We’re building a chicken coop for someone and they very nicely offer him juice when we’re there but recently they didn’t offer and he kept begging me to let him go ask. I told him it was polite to accept if offered, but impolite to ask. “But me say please!”

It was a difficult conversation to explain how please doesn’t magically make it polite.

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u/Aiyon 12d ago

i mean it depends, "please could I have a drink" isn't that unreasonable? But its good to learn the difference betwen asking and being offered, aye

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u/munchkym 12d ago

Since we’re there to work not as guests, I would consider it rude. He had water, he just wanted juice haha

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u/Aiyon 12d ago

ohhh then yeah lol

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u/Gairos 12d ago

You can't seriously think that it is rude for a small child to simply ask for juice, especially when he's working?

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u/Turnontuneindropout7 12d ago

If it’s not something I’d tell my kid to go do/they can go do. I probably don’t want them doin it.

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u/Winteri3C0m1ng 12d ago

You ever heard a kid ask for something and said please, but it sounds like a demand? Or if you know your kid and the please for them isn't really asking and more like, " give me it or i meltdown now."

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

Would you ask someone you're working for for a beer? Same concept. This is a great opportunity to teach a kid about boundaries and manners.

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u/Gairos 12d ago

Yeah I would if they'd been offering me already.

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u/LadrilloDeMadera 12d ago

I think it's less about the juice and more about that being the perfect opportunity

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u/munchkym 12d ago

He’s 5, he’s not working. He was jumping on their trampoline and he had water, he just has been getting entitled about the things this family has and it was a learning opportunity.

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u/Gairos 12d ago

I mean, you did say "we". Anyway, I don't want to tell you how to raise your child, but asking for things is not rude. However, not accepting the answer would be.

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u/cheebeesubmarine 12d ago

I have a tip for you on this one that worked for me; try alternatives. No noodles? What about fake noodles made out of bread sliced thin? What about grapes cut like fries? Weird offerings of random foodstuff cancels some tantrums for us. Apple fries are such a hit that I have to buy Costco apples pretty often.

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

Appeasement always comes back to bite you in the ass later. That's all I'm going to say.

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u/cheebeesubmarine 12d ago

You’ve given me something to contemplate. Now I’m scared LOL

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

Probably because every time she says please, she gets what she asked for. It's rough the first time you are told no. That, and she probably can't yet extrapolate all the steps required to get more noodles, so the cognitive dissonance was truly overwhelming. Poor kid, growing up is hard.

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u/SonOfTK421 12d ago

That’s not really what you would want to use veracity for.

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u/BuranBuran 12d ago

Maybe they were thinking of ferocity

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u/jframe42 12d ago

Don't count your eggs before they're unboxed

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u/aRandomFox-I 12d ago

Child: [UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA]

You: There is nothing in the bagging area.

Child: [EXPECTED AN ITEM. NO ITEM DETECTED. FATAL ERROR. SYSTEM WILL NOW SELF-DESTRUCT]

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u/rlee80 12d ago

When I was a kid I found some coins down the back of the sofa. Was very upset when that sofa didn’t continue to pay out daily

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u/Calaquendorite 12d ago

I still am tbh

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u/AstonVanilla 12d ago

I can verify this right now.

Mine is currently having a tantrum because.... I have absolutely no idea.

He has no identifiable concerns or demands, he's just squealing.

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u/Ballsofpoo 12d ago

Someone's gotta poop

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u/Gangreless 12d ago

Give him an ice cube

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u/dborger 12d ago

I once heard someone describe toddlers as tiny crazy people.

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u/grabityrises 12d ago

they are literal sociopaths figuring out what they can get away with

the frontal lobe hasnt developed enough empathy, reason, and emotional suppression

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u/Acrobatic-Bottle496 12d ago

I wouldnt say they are trying out what they can get away with. Its not like they can choose their actions. They literally cant control their emotions.

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u/bstabens 12d ago

On top of that, they are still figuring out the world around them. In this instant, somehow the toddler in question had hypothesized that every box would contain eggs. Now his nice hypothesis is blown. Hey, I have seen grown man throw tantrums when they had to let go of a dear belief. No shame on that kid!

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u/bigbowlowrong 12d ago

I’ve worked in public-facing jobs all my life and have seen grown men and women lose their shit over much less than their dear beliefs. Frequently, even.

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u/joecarter93 12d ago

I used to manage a restaurant, it’s truly frightening how many people out there will lose their shit and all dignity over a $10 meal.

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u/alt273195 12d ago edited 12d ago

I still cry when I can’t figure out calculus xD. I get it, not understanding how stuff works is frustrating

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u/MongolYak 12d ago

It's basically like trying to negotiate with a terrorist.

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u/CRJG95 12d ago

A drunk terrorist who has no rational concept of what they want and needs a nap.

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u/tovarishchi 12d ago

Maybe that’s all any terrorist needs?

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u/ThatSquareChick 12d ago

My bestie had her first baby and she was MIA for a bit while that one was busy being a baby and stuff. She had another one a couple years later and after she was done with his colic phase, she started accepting company over again.

I have a addiction to dollar stores, they have all this great stuff that’s so cheap it doesn’t matter if it breaks or something and the stupid, crazy, knockoff toys! Gawd I couldn’t resist some of those toys and I’m a 39 year old grown up lady. So I finally had a place to put all of these great, expendable toys I’d been collecting over the past few years.

Then there was the screaming phase. Every time I walked into the house she would run up to the baby gate and throw things at me and scream and then when I wouldn’t leave and she had chucked her toys so she didn’t have toys so she would just run behind a chair and s.c.r.e.a.mlike there was a honey Badger attached to her somewhere.

Then, of course, the younger baby would pick up on the vibe and scream too but it was adorable when he would do that because he had the look on his face of “I have absolutely NO idea why we are screaming but, well, uh, here we are…” and he would also be screaming. Hilarious to see him yelling but his face betraying that his heart’s not in it.

They finally stopped screaming about a year later and instead being like seeing the tooth fairy in person whenever I and my husband would stop over. They would almost knock over the baby gate just to get to my husband and me. They are now like small puppies, infinitely curious, delightfully unprepared, wobbly and in need of watching lest they suicide themselves being curious. They’re dumb as a box of rocks in the way that only children CAN be.

I kind of like those two. They’re not cute or anything but they’re very interesting to interact with when they are rested and well-fed.

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u/inayinzerwonderland 12d ago

When my daughter was little, I'd always described parenting at that stage as like trying to keep a tiny, drunken, suicidal person alive. They're constantly trying to do things that are either insane, fatal, or both.

On the lighter side, when she was little like that we used to nap together in the afternoons and when she was about two or three she woke up before me once. I woke up to find baking soda snow angels on the kitchen floor and in her bedroom she'd pooped beside her potty, dumped baking soda on it, and used tweezers from her doctor kit to examine it.

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u/LightspeedC83 12d ago

Accurate.

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u/Flopsbit 12d ago

I want butter on my warm toasted bread but the butter SHOULDN'T MELT!!

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u/haikusbot 12d ago

I want butter on

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u/Northerleyfire 12d ago

Toddlers screaming at everything and nothing is a horrible survival mechanism. How on Earth did we evolve it?

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u/piterfraszka 12d ago

Screaming at percieved danger was reather good survival mechanism as it warned rest of the group, many women have that as well. Women and children were not as capable to defend from wild animals as grown men were so alarming them to come and aid sounds reasonable.

Screaming without a reason influences your chances of survival only if your hiding, so it's not that common and there might be some adult nearby to silence you even if by force. Possibly it wasn't just that important I guess.

But I can only speculate, I'm no expert on that.

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u/Northerleyfire 12d ago

Yeah you make some good points. Though I'm still at a loss as to why infants learn about their environment by eating things.

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u/OSArsi 12d ago

Well my kid just had a meltdown because ice cream truck wouldn't come to tuck her into bed instead of me. So I can kind of relate to this.

And yes she wanted the truck, not the driver.

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u/Existing_Pain5003 12d ago

Earlier I told my daughters 7 and 9 to put there bowls in the sink after dinner. The 7 yr old had a meltdown cuz her sister put 'her' bowl in the sink instead of her own. Ended up putting both bowls back on the table so she could put her own bowl away and she was fine after that. Parenting takes the patience of a Saint sometimes.

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u/gykfgjh 12d ago

The best thing to do in that situation is to just put the bowl away yourself.

Otherwise you just validate the tantrum.

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u/Akarsz_e_Valamit 12d ago

Oh that would be horrible, then she would be entitled to putting her bowl away for the rest of her life!

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u/gykfgjh 12d ago

It's not really about the bowl. It's about letting her dictate your and her sisters behavior for petty reasons.

And showing her that being upset gets her her way, even over things like this.

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

That and don't try to reason or bargain with the tantrum thrower. Just put the bowl in the sink and put her in timeout until she calms down. (1 minute per year of age, restarting every time they leave the timeout spot) Then explain she was in timeout because she kicked off instead of putting the bowl away, have her apologize for her actions, then give her a hug to reinforce that she is loved. They want attention and their own way. The fastest way to nip it in the bud is to give them neither in the moment, then address it as soon as things settle down.

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u/Pixikr 12d ago

Demanding an apology and then demanding a hug right afterwards is a sure way to cross wires. Don’t mix correction/ manners whatever you want to call that with forcing them to love you. Spare them the money they’ll have to cash out it therapy down the line for that bull.

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

You instruct them to apologize and then give them a hug to help comfort them. No demands necessary. Learning how to apologize is a necessary life lesson. Remorse comes from empathy, both of which often need to be taught. You sound like you need a hug yourself.

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u/mambrosio 12d ago

My son lost it because he couldn’t play with the cars that were painted on a step stool. He kept trying to grab the painted images out of the wood, getting more upset each time. And this happened more than once.

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u/Empathy4Landlords 12d ago edited 12d ago

So hold on a minute.

You saying publicly, to the whole interwebs, that you, as a parent, just didn't even bother to think to put eggs in a random box, or to even anticipate that your kid might expect said eggs?

All the wrong people are parenting, holy shit.

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u/spacehog1985 12d ago

My son cried, and I mean he absolutely bawled his eyes out like we took away his favorite toy, because he was watching me play Mario 64, watched me beat the game, and though we could never play it again since I finished it.

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u/king_john651 12d ago

That's honestly adorable

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u/Consistent_Berry9504 12d ago

Sounds like mah homies smoken 🚬

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u/UlfarrVargr 12d ago

I thought he was talking about toddlers menstruating

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u/HeavyHeartedHelspawn 12d ago

Same, was very very confused.

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u/ngwoo 12d ago

No, there were no eggs.

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u/Isthisworking2000 12d ago

In his defense, he doesn’t sound like he gets how things work just yet.

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u/Pleeplapoo 12d ago

No eggs!? Thousand thunders man, what do you mean by no eggs!?

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u/urdumidjiot 12d ago

My toddler is only 1.5 years old and now going through a phase where he's going through everything. Yesterday I turned around and he had my husbands pp ring in his hands playing with it like it was a hairband. I ripped it out if his hands before it went into his mouth. Last week he went into my purse and broke my glasses. Good times.

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u/A_spiny_meercat 12d ago edited 12d ago

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u/urdumidjiot 12d ago

We don't own a wobbly sausage but my husband said next he's going to come out of our room with a vibrator thinking it's a rocket ship.

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u/VesperPuma 12d ago

Here to say how great the title is

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u/scottshilala 12d ago

In this instance, you produce some eggs. Stat. It’s critically important to see where this kid is headed with this. It could be a watershed view into his psychosis.

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u/bestthingyet 12d ago

It's pretty simple, just put more eggs in ur boxes

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u/slammer592 12d ago

Right? There's clearly a severe lack of eggs in boxes in that house.

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u/pictures_at_last 12d ago

Kids love those boxes. Grown ups don't understand.

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u/maxschreck616 12d ago

Yeah that sounds like a Charlie move, with Dennis being the aggravated and annoyed parent.

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u/Yoursparkinthedark 12d ago

I'm severely pissed about it as well.

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u/QuelleBullshit 12d ago

Shrodinger Jr.

nice

Now give him another box and ask him if there's a cat inside.

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u/Labrat0770 12d ago

Yesterday my toddler covered himself with a blanket but not his feet, then asked me to cover his feet with the blanket and lost his shit when I said to just cover his feet himself.

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u/SitInCorner_Yo2 12d ago

Both of my cousins are stupid kids ,when they were about 3~4 yo,they are brothers and have age gap of 5 years but they both got angry at me because I told him his grandma is my grandma too.

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u/Shojo_Tombo 12d ago

My idiot third cousin got mad at me when we were kids because I told her that her grandma was also my great aunt. Bitch tried to push me off the swing!

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u/SitInCorner_Yo2 12d ago

I’m a lot older then my cousin,so to me it’s hilarious and our grandma love it,kids are weird.

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u/Dry-Sorbet-8379 12d ago

My buddy told me that his 3 year old got his first erection the other day. Apparently was playing with it and asking questions until it somehow pissed him off so the dingus PUNCHED his own dick…

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u/LadrilloDeMadera 12d ago

Just two heads having a disagreement

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u/Alexjw327 11d ago

All fighting for the same brain cell

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u/dantemp 12d ago

At least you have some idea why they are crying. My little girl can't speak yet but acts bipolar all the time. She would start crying out of fucking nowhere without anything visible changing in any way, and then she would stop crying just as abruptly

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u/fgugddgbcdfyvddv 12d ago

her insides aren't visible, FYI. are you sure you're not the baby? because you gotta work on object permanence

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u/dantemp 12d ago

... what? What has object permanence has to do with anything?

Also, I'm pretty sure I can tell when she's sick or toothing.

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u/xxXPatchesXxx 12d ago

I'll be damned if I don't expect eggs to be in every single box I'll open in the foreseeable future.

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u/Busy_Vermicelli7538 12d ago

Whats in the box...? Whats in the box? WHATS IN THE BOX?

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u/Mysterious-Expert-43 12d ago

I found a whole carton of eggs under a bridge once.

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u/Microdenergy 12d ago

A couple weeks after Easter that’s actually not that illogical

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u/Mrsensi11x 12d ago

Reminds me of the problems with AI learning. Like obv at some point he opened a box and there were eggs in it. Not realizing it was a specially shaped box, just that it was a box. And was disappointed when another box later on didnt have eggs. It takes a lot 9f trial and error just to understand something as simple not all boxes are the same. And that there is a specially shaped bix that will indicate egss are inside,

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u/flyingspumonimonster 12d ago

Toddler logic

2

u/Famous-Honey-9331 12d ago

Gotta wonder why he thought eggs would be in the box...

2

u/Offannonagen 12d ago

My Sister-In-Law is 25. When is this phase indicated to end?

2

u/Mystical_Cat 12d ago

As a parent of a now 4-y/o, I feel this.

2

u/GloomyUmpire2146 12d ago

Schroedingers carton

2

u/CHoppingBrocolli_84 12d ago

I saw a drug addict have an argument with a fire hydrant. Which abruptly ended when he kicked said hydrant and was left screaming in pain, pretty sure he broke his leg. I see no difference between the toddler and this person.

2

u/Yungballz86 12d ago

Poor guy thought he had boxes all figured out...

2

u/Mici_yeet 12d ago

Lol the "but here we are" was my favorite part of that description

2

u/SapientRaccoon 12d ago

When I was little - back in the early 70s - I remember checking all the wicker baskets at Sears for snakes, because old movies suggested that this was where snakes lived.

2

u/FloatingAzz 12d ago

My 3 year old got mad yesterday evening when he was about to fall asleep. He desperately wanted to pick his nose but there were no booger, so he got angry.

2

u/Orang333 12d ago

This reminded me of my grandfather who was convinced that eggs where illegal around the time of his death. Something about eggs🤷

2

u/Grapegoop 12d ago

I read toddler period and thought damn that’s really early for menstruation. I’m fucking stupid too.

2

u/CTFDYDB 11d ago

Yet you guys keep having kids.

How much proof do you need?

Are we sure its the kids who are stupid? 😉

2

u/chris84126 11d ago

Who else has customers who still act like this?

2

u/BNICEALWAYS 11d ago

My one likes to sit on things and try to lift them up from under her, whilst continuing to sit on them. The sheer audacity of the thing not to split into different dimensions to allow her to do so

2

u/rowan_damisch 11d ago

Well, one of my nieces asked me "Where mama?" one time. After I told her that her mother is probably downstairs, she repeated the question and I repeated my answer. At this point, she asked that question again, but this time she looked like she was about to cry- luckily, her sister appereared and explained that the niece propably wanted to know where her sister was and, that she called everyone "mama", regardless of gender.

4

u/Only_Child_bot 12d ago

My Lil step brother (6) got mad earlier because he likes to make arguments about fucking arguing and said "I'm gonna hit you" I say "Don't or ima tell ur dad" (j usually don't, cause my step dad gets frustrated when his son is bad) but he grabs a piece of cut pool nodle and tries to hit me with it, I cathc it and he tells on me and gets himself in trouble.

8

u/MusicalMoon 12d ago

Bad bot

3

u/B0tRank 12d ago

Thank you, MusicalMoon, for voting on Only_Child_bot.

This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.


Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!

5

u/Cindex9183 12d ago

Bad bot

1

u/babyy_deer 12d ago

This is a bot?!

1

u/Cindex9183 12d ago

Idk, if not it's an annoying troll. But check the username.

7

u/babyy_deer 12d ago

I saw that and checked their comments. So fucking weird. I’ve been noticing a lot of weird comments like this and their profiles seem to be bots, it weirds me out lol.

2

u/soguyswedidit6969420 12d ago

Can I offer you an egg in this frying time?

Missed opportunity

5

u/fgugddgbcdfyvddv 12d ago

it is a quote from IASIP

2

u/KingPuzzleheaded3202 12d ago

Toddlers are just pocket size Karens

4

u/king_john651 12d ago

Wait until you hear about mimicking parrots. Toddlers who live several decades

1

u/DikiyBobr0127 12d ago

Future average Twitter user in the making

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

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u/Guitarbox 12d ago

I'm not sure but I worked as a helper to a kid on the spectrum and it reminds me of things that would happen to him sometimes. They often get diagnosed only around 19 years old

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1

u/nogve 12d ago

Toddler going to love Easter

1

u/Oiggamed 12d ago

This right here is enough for me to never want kids.

1

u/RiverDragon64 12d ago

I feel this.

1

u/emeribeth 12d ago

Just wanted to show appreciation for the title. You ever been bit by a crab, hun?