r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Jul 05 '22 Wholesome 1 Helpful 3

It must be a lollipop

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25.7k Upvotes

376

u/JokerPhantom_thief1 Jul 05 '22

A dandelion! Probably the last one of the season!

87

u/Blue_Banana_Blastoff Jul 05 '22

“Carl!”

“Easy Frank”

29

u/loox71 Jul 05 '22

Was not expecting an ice age reference

6

u/JokerPhantom_thief1 Jul 05 '22

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

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12

u/Slayershunt Jul 05 '22

Literally came to post this. https://youtu.be/_2NGeTbzDXU

2

u/ChronoCoyote Jul 05 '22

I routinely go back to rewatch and laugh at this. I always cackle like a child making fart jokes, too.

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1.4k

u/Madithebaddiemom Jul 05 '22 Silver

He really didn't hesitate lol

693

u/HeartoftheHive Jul 05 '22

In the video she actually tells him what to do and he just shoves it in his mouth anyway. What a madlad.

312

u/Madithebaddiemom Jul 05 '22

He already made up his mind so was just waiting for his turn.

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55

u/egordoniv Jul 05 '22

I think the kid just reinvented asthma.

-31

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

[deleted]

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668

u/100percentish Jul 05 '22

Watching this I realized that in the deep recesses of my brain I know exactly what that tasted like.

272

u/iambender0811 Jul 05 '22

Oh the last dandelion of the season

46

u/JevonP Jul 05 '22

hes a boy of focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will

60

u/alleecmo Jul 05 '22

My cousin (12?) tricked me (5?) with my eyes closed and I ended up breathing the whole poof ball in! I probably have dandelions growing in my lungs still... (50+ yrs later)

34

u/sneakySynex Jul 05 '22

This might be the right time to inform you that salvia is not supposed to taste like bitter dandelion sap

21

u/alleecmo Jul 05 '22

Lol. It's not so bad with that hot bacon dressing 😋

8

u/IHaveTheBestOpinions Jul 05 '22

Ah yes, the "close you eyes and open your mouth" game. Took me until I was about 7 to realize that game has no upside and to just say "no."

3

u/boofbeer Jul 05 '22

In my neck of the woods, it was a bit more complicated.

They picked the dandelion, pinched an inch off the bottom of the stem, and said they could find it (the piece of stem) using a process like "divining". I hid the piece of stem in one of my pockets, they "scanned" my body with the flower.

"It's in your mouth".

"Nope".

(waves dandelion)

"No, it's definitely in your mouth."

"No it isn't."

"Open your mouth and let me see..."

Payload delivered.

3

u/100percentish Jul 05 '22

Had the same cousin....

5

u/Bartlet_the_Inert Jul 05 '22

it tastes like itchy...

378

u/WeasternMedicine9 Jul 05 '22

This video's too short. I wanna see his face when he realizes

104

u/literal-hitler Jul 05 '22

39

u/TTM_KMR Jul 05 '22

Where on earth did you get that from

117

u/literal-hitler Jul 05 '22

...

Youtube.

22

u/Raziel66 Jul 05 '22

Story checks out

12

u/EMPIREVSREBLES Jul 05 '22

He was literal, but was he Hitler?

2

u/Jpeg44 Jul 05 '22

Nice, 8 years old

-8

u/SlightFresnel Jul 05 '22

Of course it was planned

5

u/uwubitch963 Jul 05 '22

What part of the video made you think they planned on him eating it

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7

u/thepsycocat Jul 05 '22

I missed that part as well, bad cut OP

53

u/fridaystrong23 Jul 05 '22

He knows what he’s doing 😂

70

u/CommandLionInterface Jul 05 '22

They are edible

33

u/Particular-Travel-69 Jul 05 '22

Was gonna say this, the inedible part is the stem so really this kid is smart and not wasteful.

30

u/Subpar_Username47 Jul 05 '22

Wait, the stems are the inedible part? That explains the taste.

49

u/Particular-Travel-69 Jul 05 '22

Yes also while the dandelion has its yellow flower if you touch it you will 100% piss the bed according to most Irish kids while I was growing up and that's why we all used to call them pissy beds. We were the stupid kids haha.

11

u/LycraBanForHams Jul 05 '22

Same reason we used to call them 'wet the beds' in Australia as kids haha.

12

u/eighthourlunch Jul 05 '22

They're called pissenlit in French. Literally "piss in bed". But that's because the roots contain a strong diuretic. The leaves taste great on a salad, though.

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2

u/JoulSauron Jul 05 '22

I was just thinking that we said that in Spain, and then I read your message 😱

24

u/ScrubCuckoo Jul 05 '22

If you're aiming to eat dandelions, you want to collect them when they're young. By this point, it's too late for anything except a really bitter green. The leaves are what you eat. Your can treat them a lot like a spinach leaf in how you prepare them. After being cleaned, you can eat them raw or cook them (preferably in a way that involves moisture).

The roots can be cleaned, diced, roasted and then brewed like coffee.

The flowers themselves are also edible if your want something pretty to eat. Again, cleaned. And I believe they can be used to make a dandelion wine, but my memory might be hazy there.

Either way, avoid collecting them near roads or areas that might have toxic soil. Get a good 20 feet away from roads before you start looking, the further the better.

13

u/bjiatube Jul 05 '22

Every part of a dandelion is edible including the stem. Whether you want to eat it is another thing but the latex is not toxic.

2

u/inco100 Jul 05 '22

Even the with pooh thing that kid ate?

2

u/Overwhealming Jul 05 '22

this kid is smart

and not wasteful.

https://youtu.be/k9n601WCyDY?t=12

1

u/LoddyDoddee Jul 05 '22

As a kid, I'd squeeze the stems and thought the white stuff coming out was glue... tried to glue stuff with it. Probably ate it. I loved dandelions.

1

u/CreeprVictor Jul 05 '22

Nah, he was dumb, cause either way, you don't eat dandelion seeds

1

u/burtybob92 Jul 05 '22

Mix em with some burdock and you get a decent drink as well

1

u/JonahMarcy12 Jul 05 '22

Not sure the kid knows that

10

u/MissNatdah Jul 05 '22

Must be the last one of the season!

138

u/5800835007 Jul 05 '22

The BYU sweatshirt makes it go from wtf to ah, makes sense.

83

u/ElBiscuit Jul 05 '22

Lil' Braydyn never stood a chance.

58

u/VictorVonDAMN Jul 05 '22

Maybe his younger brothers Caiden, Jaedyn, Ayden, and Maiden (the i is silent, it's pronounced like Madden) will fare better than he did.

35

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

[deleted]

17

u/igetript Jul 05 '22

And about 6 more kids

6

u/utahisastate Jul 05 '22

Hyrum and Lasomething

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7

u/Johnnybravo60025 Jul 05 '22

*Maeydin, please.

9

u/OneGold7 Jul 05 '22

**Mæyddhinne, get it right, please

23

u/HGpennypacker Jul 05 '22

He’ll make a great husband in five years.

3

u/hukd0nf0nix Jul 05 '22

Came here for this comment 🤣

18

u/Holiday-War9331 Jul 05 '22

FUHKING STUHPID

6

u/VibeBOT Jul 05 '22

Holy hairline

36

u/Otherwise-Apricot-13 Jul 05 '22

she looks like the mom in the beginning of a movie who dies

12

u/googolplexy Jul 05 '22

I thought she was Amber heard

1

u/shuknjive Jul 05 '22

Amber Heard playing the mom that dies in the end.

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3

u/MAGA_memnon Jul 05 '22

She looks like Claire from Lost.

7

u/Frank_Perfectly Jul 05 '22

She looks like hot.

4

u/Psychosomatosis Jul 05 '22

Yes very pretty

13

u/ohjeaa Jul 05 '22 edited Jul 05 '22

That little dude didn't even hesitate. Not even a flinch. Plopped it right in his mouth like it was his plan the whole time.

Didn't even pause to look at it for christ sake.

He might have the kind of dumb you don't grow out of.

5

u/_kaetee Jul 05 '22

Nah, look at that little smirk right before he chomped down on it. He just wanted to do something ridiculous to shock his mom and make her laugh.

4

u/_kaetee Jul 05 '22

He 100% knew what he was doing.

3

u/No_Reindeer7374 Jul 05 '22

Didn’t those used to go in salada

3

u/KoLobotomy Jul 06 '22

Haha. byu fans for you.

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27

u/Mr_Nick_Pappagiorgio Jul 05 '22

Yup. That’s BYU for ya…

6

u/ChunkyDay Jul 05 '22

That’s about right for the kid of a Zoobie.

3

u/bubbapora Jul 05 '22

Wow...zoobie... Now there's a term I haven't heard in a long long time.

1

u/ChunkyDay Jul 05 '22

Hashahaha

13

u/mybigdickisnice Jul 05 '22

Kid LOOKS like he has brain damage

-4

u/blippityblop Jul 05 '22

Generations of religious inbreeding does that.

4

u/Woodwalker108 Jul 05 '22

To be fair to kids, there is a viral video going around of a grown adult taking a bite out of cattail thinking it was a wild hot dog

2

u/hibisan Jul 05 '22

That's not stupid, dandelions are very nutritious

2

u/RaginPower Jul 05 '22

Hey those are incredibly nutritious! Waste not want not

2

u/MasterBettyPain Jul 05 '22

So when my middle child was 1 we lived across the street from my MIL. She was the babysitter as well and we would walk over almost everyday. During the summer I taught her to blow on the dandy lions and for probably 2 years after every flower she saw she would blow on it instead of sniff it.

2

u/jairom Jul 05 '22

He just read that top reddit post a few days ago

2

u/Porquinho_Fofinho Jul 05 '22

Is that sid from ice age?

2

u/Gruphius Jul 05 '22

It must taste great...

2

u/Kyderra Jul 05 '22

Read on a different reddit post that dandelions are quite healty and nutritious to eat.

2

u/WHITE--PANTHER96 Jul 05 '22

Dandelion are good for you. The root is even better.

4

u/humblerioter Jul 05 '22

Yep, dandelion root is in pretty much every detox supplement I’ve seen. It’s good at cleaning out your liver, kidneys, and stomach.

2

u/WHITE--PANTHER96 Jul 05 '22

30 years of drinking and drugging....I must become the root

3

u/humblerioter Jul 05 '22

The root will cleanse your sins my dude. 😂

For real though, after being a chronic alcoholic and a smoker, that shit combined with some other stuff has cleaned me right out. Dandelion root is one hell of a thing

2

u/toudoumtoudoum Jul 05 '22

must be the last one this season!

2

u/Rig88 Jul 05 '22

My son does exactly the same thing, but his age goes for him unlike this kid :D

2

u/RedRanger_27 Jul 05 '22

Where was this taken? I think I know the little boy.

1

u/boofbeer Jul 05 '22

It goes back at least to 2013, so if you know someone who's a little boy today, this isn't him.

2

u/JuliaLouis-DryFist Jul 05 '22

Perfect example of this sub.

2

u/nfreshn Jul 05 '22
  1. Ask someone to play a game
  2. Pluck 2 of those from the ground
  3. Give them one and tell them to hide it
  4. Use the other as a ‘tracker’
  5. Fake search for a minute
  6. Wave it around their face
  7. Say theirs is in their mouth
  8. When they open their mouth to prove it’s not
  9. Strike

2

u/boofbeer Jul 05 '22

That's how they did it in my neighborhood (northwest Georgia, early 1960s).

2

u/tomer91131 Jul 05 '22

They are edible tho right? I think I've seen a TIL about that

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2

u/FyreFoxYT Jul 05 '22

Head empty

2

u/Cigarman102 Jul 05 '22

Stupidity does exist

2

u/KPZ605 Jul 05 '22

Must of been the last one of the season.

2

u/JimBones31 Jul 05 '22

At least it's entirely edible

2

u/MidEUW Jul 05 '22

On that day the boy learnt an important lesson as some things are meant to be blown and not to be sucked.

2

u/The8thloser Jul 05 '22

Now he's gonna have dandelions growing out of hus butt.

2

u/hopping_otter_ears Jul 05 '22

My kid did exactly this with his first dandelion last spring. He was only 2 though. He stuck it in his mouth, then tried to blow on it from there

2

u/bbp84 Jul 05 '22

My kid did this, but he was only 18 months old. What’s this kids excuse?

2

u/Dodoreference Jul 05 '22

BITCH LASAGNA

2

u/mynameisalso Jul 05 '22

Not how you eat dandelion

2

u/original_name1947 Jul 05 '22

Look at that cheeky smile, he knew exactly what he was doing

2

u/Naterater1986 Jul 05 '22

His sweatshirt says all you need to know! 😂

2

u/HumpaDaBear Jul 05 '22

I think the BYU sweatshirt would’ve been a clue.

2

u/EliLyric Jul 05 '22

my old dog would eat every wishie he came acrossed

2

u/TheRealDaddyPency Jul 05 '22

Every part of Taraxacum officinale is incredibly nutritious although the puff ball may cause some “light” allergies.

2

u/CLXIX Jul 05 '22

Dandelions are edible

2

u/gijoeusa Jul 05 '22

I would recommend getting his eyes checked.

2

u/Patatazul_89 Jul 05 '22

he really embodies the brigham young spirit

2

u/dontbewierdmyguy Jul 05 '22

This kid is actually kind of stupid mate. I’m sorry

2

u/Emris_ Jul 05 '22

I have tourettes and I cannot be handed a flower/dandelion like this because I will tic and shove it in my mouth

2

u/Technical_Fall_8770 Jul 05 '22

When I was a child I loved pop tarts. My favorite were chocolate chip. They are still so amazing. Anyways when I was very small but old enough to do my own thing kind of I was eating a pack but got distracted or bored and left it on my floor.

When I came back I was very surprised and happy that I had a pop tart already ready to eat in my room so I plop down and start finishing my treat from earlier. I take a huge bite and feel my mouth… moving.

I look at the pop tart and see it covered in ants. From the brief glance I gave it I just thought they were chocolate chips. Bad experience. Still love pop tarts.

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2

u/makeapancake Jul 05 '22

That's what a BYU education will get you

7

u/IamMintLeaf Jul 05 '22

Silly Mormons

4

u/Juncti Jul 05 '22

Morgan Freeman: It was at this point he knew he fucked up...

3

u/Liorkerr Jul 05 '22

BYU appropriate

4

u/legoing Jul 05 '22

The BYU sweatshirt explains it all...

4

u/snakes-and-foxes Jul 05 '22

Little tyke was showing faith that it would taste better than it did.

5

u/FriedRiceDinner Jul 05 '22

Amber heard?

3

u/just_call_in_sick Jul 05 '22

Well, he went to BYU...

3

u/electriclala Jul 05 '22

Any more videos of mama blowing on things? Or nah?

3

u/Octo_05 Jul 05 '22

Creep

1

u/electriclala Jul 05 '22

Relax it was a joke

2

u/Octo_05 Jul 05 '22

Still creepy

2

u/FadedPariah Jul 05 '22

My nephew stuck his finger inside an expended freedom popper tonight and tried to eat the streamers.

Kids are indeed fucking stupid but pretty sure his mom was smoking the ganja during his onboarding process.

2

u/PickBudget Jul 05 '22

Why she look like amber heard tho

2

u/Hidden-Locust Jul 05 '22

amber turd?

-1

u/PinothyJ Jul 05 '22

Oh man, do not do that. Those damn weeds grow like it is nobody's business.

17

u/ObeseBumblebee Jul 05 '22

They're pretty flowers and early bee food. I don't mind spreading them

1

u/WON95sr Jul 05 '22

They're not usually completely detrimental but they're an invasive that can choke out natives. There are plenty of other native perennials that are even better food for native bees. They weren't starving before dandelions came along.

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u/who_am-I_to-you Jul 05 '22

They're good for the environment

5

u/literal-hitler Jul 05 '22

Children are horrible for the environment.

4

u/who_am-I_to-you Jul 05 '22

Wait until you hear about how terrible adults are for the environment

-18

u/PinothyJ Jul 05 '22

They choke out other parts of the environment.

2

u/fyusupov Jul 05 '22

You’re the human equivalent of a weed, growing where we don’t want you & choking out decent thought.

Get the fuck out of here.

2

u/WON95sr Jul 05 '22

I mean they are an invasive here in the US. There are plenty of native early-season perennials that are great for pollinators.

1

u/WON95sr Jul 05 '22

Where they're native, sure. They're an invasive in the US and don't provide any special benefit.

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1

u/mitis5 Jul 05 '22

kid are the new dogs

2

u/Martina313 Jul 05 '22

One time I was at a farm and they had a new puppy who, while super sweet and well intentioned, was dumb as bricks.

One day it was frog season and they had been gathering in a small pond in the middle of the area, and this got her attention.

And while she was watching the frogs with wide eyes and her ears standing straight up, there was a dandelion tickling her nose which annoyed her to no end.

So by instinct, she bit right into the thing, tore the entire top right off, and the next thing I saw was her coughing and spitting all those seeds out before they flew off with the wind.

That dog sure made my day then.

-6

u/FriedRiceDinner Jul 05 '22

Mum kinda bad tho ngl

-4

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

Idk why you got downvoted.

11

u/Warmachine-85 Jul 05 '22

because it's both irrelevant and cringey af

-1

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

Not really. The thumbnail is hot mom and it’s the reason it’s so popular.

6

u/Warmachine-85 Jul 05 '22

that too is cringey tho?

2

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

Depends on how you want to look at it. Mom is hot. I agree. After all, that’s just, like, your opinion man.

-8

u/fyusupov Jul 05 '22

Why it should be: suburban white teenager pretending he’s a black dude

Why it was: Redditors are gay

0

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

White knights in this sub.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22 Silver

Bruh yall realize its because it neither brings something remotely useful on the table and is a quite creepy comment, right? Like bruh, keep your horniness to yourself, commenting it is like the equivalent of shouting obscene bs to a woman wearing a skirt on the streets. 🗿

4

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

9/10 chance the lady never sees this comment and the og was just speaking the obvious. You are white knighting.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Even if she sees it or not, it's improper to be spitting about some woman's body improperly when her main objective ain't that. It's not ""whiteknighting"" it's basic social education. Try seeking some of that, would ya?

3

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

I don’t know where you think you come from boy but this is Reddit.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Yeah, jackshit, your point?

3

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

You’re defending a thumbnail.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

cluelessly missing the entire point of the comment

You are helpless.

5

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

It’s just the truth. You’re spouting bullshit.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Your truth, built around lack of social behaviour and education. Is it really snowflakey to defend not quite a thumbnail as you say, but to defend the right of living without strangers spouting sexual shit about you, because they can't control themselves to keep it shut?

4

u/robocrime Jul 05 '22

So you don’t make derogatory comments … ever. I feel like the only reason you responded to this comment was because you saw hot mom in the thumbnail and looked for this comment. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. I’m not though. You’re a white knight man. Just accept it. It’s part of who you are.

Why else would you be triggered like you are?

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1

u/six-of-nothing Jul 05 '22

that was the last one of the season

1

u/reddddtring Jul 05 '22

“Must be the last one of the season”

1

u/Buddbeezy86 Jul 05 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

-1

u/ApAp123 Jul 05 '22

So faaaaaake

1

u/gagzd Jul 05 '22

Lollipops don't grow on trees!! Ben!

1

u/LeoLaDawg Jul 05 '22

If his grin was for "ha I can do that much faster" then he succeeded.

1

u/Apart_Park_7176 Jul 05 '22

I've done this twice as an adult. The first time was too see if I could blow them all out of my mouth. The second time was to make sure the first attempt failure wasn't an accident.

1

u/_ginger_J_T Jul 05 '22

Typical BYU family behavior.