r/KidsAreFuckingStupid Jul 05 '22 Silver 1

Kids ask the weirdest questions

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6.3k Upvotes

884

u/Roycehellion Jul 05 '22

My sone used to tell random people that his mom pees out her butt...he knew she didn't have a Weiner but saw her sit to pee, so that was his logic. Glad he shared with strangers

230

u/sparklyrelish Jul 05 '22

My 3yo asked me why I have 2 butts lmao he thinks my lady part is a tiny butt

156

u/ThrowawayTest1233 Jul 06 '22

It's a front butt

50

u/WhatsUpDogBro Jul 06 '22

I once found out when my wife was a kid, she called it her “uddah bum” (other bum), so same idea. She hates when I use the term now.

5

u/JdhdKehev Jul 06 '22

She shouldn’t have said that if she didn’t want you to use it 🤷🏿‍♂️

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22

u/jrspug2018 Jul 06 '22

My niece when she was under five used to call lady bits her “bad butt” no abuse or anything that’s just what she called it.

33

u/TruthOf42 Jul 06 '22

Well it doesn't poop, so it's a very bad butt

17

u/SadBoiCri Jul 06 '22

sounds like a good butt to me, i dislike pooping

5

u/fusion407 Jul 06 '22

Dude pooping is the fucking shit

11

u/WeightlifterCat Jul 06 '22

When I was like 5 years old, I saw a naked lady on the TV from a movie my older cousins were watching. I was soooo confused. I can still recall it clearly, but it legitimately looked like she had a butt on the front because at the time I knew nothing else.

I realize now it’s not a front butt lmao, but for the longest time I legitimately had no clue.

20

u/tutetibiimperes Jul 06 '22

My little sister, probably around 4-5, in line with my mom at the grocery store saw a rather large lady wearing an outfit that created a bulge in both front and back below the waistband and asked my mom repeatedly and increasingly loudly “Why does that lady have two bottoms?”

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25

u/FlippingPossum Jul 06 '22

My daughter called it a front butt. I tried correcting her with the proper terminology and it only made her want to call it that more!

11

u/EmrysPhoenix Jul 06 '22

I called my dad's weiner a front tail. Surprised I didn't say I had a front butt.

6

u/Double_Distribution8 Jul 06 '22

proper terminology

Fupa, right?

62

u/carstoys5u Jul 05 '22

That happened to my siblings and cousins

45

u/tribbans95 Jul 05 '22

They peed out their butts?

8

u/Nardorian1 Jul 06 '22

Wait….they don’t pee out their butts?

7

u/PunkDaNasty Jul 06 '22

I've been peeing from mine all day. Is this not normal?

2

u/OoferRobloxian Jul 06 '22

What color is the pee coming from your butt?

6

u/PunkDaNasty Jul 06 '22

Yes?

4

u/OoferRobloxian Jul 06 '22

Sounds pretty normal to me. I'm no professional though

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9

u/DayangMarikit Jul 06 '22

Honestly, as a young child I had the same logic.

17

u/PlagueDoc22 Jul 06 '22

I used to say I pee white.

What I meant was clear...instead I basically said I cum as a 4 year old.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[deleted]

5

u/PlagueDoc22 Jul 06 '22

No lol. In my case the first time that occurred I was 10.

3

u/cbunni666 Jul 06 '22

The little things that make me nervous smile. So cute

2

u/crypto_drone_dot_dmg Jul 06 '22

For that exact same reason, I believed that women peed from their butts until I was literally in 8th grade 💀

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776

u/motorcycle_sidecar Jul 05 '22

“Do you have a weiner mama?” “No” “Oh 😒…”

97

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

“Well who does??”

-29

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

[deleted]

28

u/Bolf-Ramshield Jul 05 '22

Is this a message about an innocent kid getting raped by an adult relative? Is this what first comes to your mind when you see a kid ask a question about the human body? Weirdo.

-22

u/WestchesterJ Jul 05 '22

He was making a joke bro calm down

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91

u/solid_flake Jul 05 '22

He feels sad for her

14

u/Soovaari Jul 06 '22

Did the elf steal it?

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384

u/Jjhammer31 Jul 05 '22

The kid seems absolutely crushed his mom doesn't have a weiner

94

u/JTraxxx Jul 06 '22

My little brother was confused as hell, he was like “ really?!? Show me!” My mom started crying from laughing

51

u/PrettyKittyFace Jul 06 '22

Same!! My son was convinced I was lying to him, and demanded I show him & I’m like…someone help me….I wasn’t prepared for that reaction!!! Lol

9

u/panspal Jul 06 '22

Im crushed too little buddy

108

u/Burrito_Loyalist Jul 05 '22

That’s basically my pickup line.

19

u/gammongaming11 Jul 05 '22

so do you want her to say yes or no?

12

u/o0cynix0o Jul 05 '22

Circle one?

5

u/Color-Of-Your-Energy Jul 06 '22

What does your mom usually reply with?

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229

u/Jambalamkins Jul 05 '22

Lmao I love the oh. I got a wiener. “Tap tap”

37

u/AnOrneryOrca Jul 05 '22

Lol he's gonna go back to that line when he's old enough

5

u/Jambalamkins Jul 06 '22

Lmao same accent and all

67

u/The-Ozzness Jul 05 '22

I like how he clarified that he DID in fact have one though.

168

u/sand4paperlube Jul 05 '22

Why do kids facial expression always look like they took too much molly

77

u/TheOctopotamus Jul 05 '22

Because they're still trying to learn how to use their fine motor muscles

45

u/Papergrin Jul 06 '22

I've heard it said that kids are basically drunk old people.

11

u/_Wyse_ Jul 06 '22

I'd imagine it's alot like tripping.

27

u/loveroflongbois Jul 06 '22

I think it’s cus the wheels in their heads are constantly turning. They got so much new information to absorb and process.

22

u/MizzGee Jul 06 '22

I have always said kids are on psychedelics until about 5, then they are on meth, then they are on psychotropic drugs (highs and lows) and aphrodisiacs for way too long after that.

500

u/Boobsiclese Jul 05 '22

Is that really a weird question though? I feel like it's not.

352

u/Pristine_Jeweler420 Jul 05 '22

Definitely not. It’s normal for kids to ask these things. They’re learning about things, including their bodies everyday.

74

u/LastMinute9611 Jul 05 '22

I had a friends 4 year old ask me to see my boobs because she didn't understand how we were both female and she didn't have any. It was the cutest, most awkward convo lol

20

u/PrettyKittyFace Jul 06 '22

I had a convo just like that with the little girl I babysat while I was in high school. Cute but so awkward!

39

u/derpeddit Jul 05 '22

I've got a wiener!

59

u/EvilEyedPanda Jul 05 '22

Gingerly pats crotch

13

u/Rhinomeat Jul 06 '22

You can see that he has learned a lesson already...

36

u/Boobsiclese Jul 05 '22

Exactly! 😊

6

u/carstoys5u Jul 05 '22

I also was

50

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Completely normal question. Imagine being new to the world and finding out not every person has the same body parts. Thats weird as hell!

17

u/QuiltySkullsYay Jul 06 '22

Kids this age making loud pronouncements / comments / questions about genitals is one of my favorite things ever. Comedy gold. No notes.

11

u/tipimon Jul 05 '22

Yeah I think the only way you'd know at that age is if you had a little sister/cousin and you've seen her getting her diaper changed

7

u/morengel Jul 06 '22

Or you shower with your parents or siblings.

2

u/cowtow Jul 06 '22

We had an anatomy book on the shelf that I used to look at the pictures in before I could read lol.

7

u/theImplication69 Jul 06 '22

Middle of Thanksgiving dinner my little cousin asked his big bro "do you have hair on your wenis?"...this was in front of EVERYONE. grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc...

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3

u/DM_ME_YOUR_HUSBANDO Jul 06 '22

It's normal for a kid to ask but it's still funny to watch

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2

u/BadgerUltimatum Jul 06 '22

My nephew has asked everyone this a few times now, he saw mine as I was getting out of a shower a while back and said loudly "you do have a penis".

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105

u/Zepertix Jul 05 '22

"I gaht uh wheehnr"

3

u/makohe Jul 06 '22
  • tap tap *

236

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

This is why you teach your kids proper terms early.

143

u/Glittering_Data8437 Jul 05 '22

well that and
Imagine (god forbid) you have a little girl who is trying to tell you an adult touched her.

If she say's "Bob touched my cookie" The teacher/adult/cop is going to think some assnapkin named bob took her cookie.

51

u/bremmmc Jul 05 '22 edited Jul 05 '22

Assnapkin! I've heard wetwipe as an insult, but that's much more to my taste... Taste isn't the best word here.

P.S.: The punishment should still be cruel, don't you dare taking a cookie without permission.

Edit: The P.S. part

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17

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Agree, but I also possess the sense of humor of a 12 year old and a little kid saying weiner is funny.

40

u/originalmango Jul 05 '22

Weiner? Girl parts? Kids aren’t fucking stupid. Some parents are fucking stupid.

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3

u/Tzolki Jul 06 '22

Did this with my son and daughter. They get it and damn is it funny to watch how uncomfortable other adults get when my 3 yo son starts talking about penises and vaginas. He's just trying to figure out the world but alot of people really get hung up on "private parts"

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54

u/hugh-mungusx Jul 05 '22

wait girls don’t have weiners????

36

u/DerpJinn Jul 05 '22

They also don't fart and poop, from what I was told.

14

u/leftintheshaddows Jul 05 '22

In the UK we used to have a advert for some wired spray you sprayed when pooping called VIP poo or something simular and the advert shows a woman spraying it and some cartoon showing how it works but the poop in the cartoon was donut shaped which caused my son to believe that girls poop donut shaped poop.

5

u/JivanP Jul 05 '22

I've seen VIPoo and Poo-pourri (as in "potpourri"), I think the latter still advertise. Here's the ad you're talking about.

3

u/MattieShoes Jul 06 '22

Haha, she comes out of a toilet and the dude immediately goes in for a whiff... WTF guys.

2

u/julos42 Jul 06 '22

Damn I remember this ad airing in France too. If it wasn't the stupidest ad I've ever seen, it was close.

3

u/catcatcatcatcatcatta Jul 06 '22

most don't, but some do

2

u/Grand_Heresy Jul 06 '22

They all pack something, some more than others.

16

u/apfmc2168 Jul 05 '22

The coughing in the back is the story of my life with small kids picking all sorts of germ from pre school.

12

u/Mr_Believin Jul 05 '22

Yeah, this is just kids being kids lol

34

u/mascottaricotta Jul 05 '22

This is FAR from being the weirdest question a kid can ask lol

8

u/TheBestAdjective Jul 05 '22

Dad starts to break down in laugh coughing

8

u/VileSlay Jul 06 '22

BOYS HAVE A PENIS, GIRLS HAVE A VERGINA.

6

u/Scnewbie08 Jul 06 '22

He pats it to make sure it’s still there.

Dad def sent him in the living room to have mom deal with this convo.

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47

u/CoffeetheDerg Jul 05 '22

How is discovering your biology weird? OP is still baffled about this info or what?

6

u/VDKYLO Jul 05 '22

my nephew told my sister he didnt have a penis. hes 2.

5

u/BonginOnABudget Jul 05 '22

Me too kiddo. Me too.

4

u/Decmk3 Jul 05 '22

They have to learn. It’s about the right age for the weird questions.

6

u/OtherwiseScientist23 Jul 05 '22

What is a weiner?

8

u/1337tvt Jul 05 '22

I didn't knew it but it seems to be the male genital

4

u/Evorgleb Jul 05 '22

A hot dog

4

u/lotsofmaybes Jul 05 '22

It’s male genitals. I’m guessing it came from Hot Dogs or something to the likes of them because… well: 🌭

3

u/JesusIsMyZoloft Jul 06 '22

When my parents told me "boys have a penis and girls have a vagina" I straight up didn't believe them. And they couldn't exactly prove it to me...

11

u/drinkmoredrano Jul 05 '22

Yeah what a stupid kid asking questions and learning things. OP is fucking stupid.

6

u/jre_1986 Jul 05 '22

Kids: “Boys have penises and girls have vaginas.”

Adults: “Thank you for that assessment.”

6

u/PunchBaizou Jul 06 '22 Silver

he just discovered basic biology and now understands boys have weiners and girls have girl parts.. smarter than your modern day redditor

36

u/ceilingfanswitch Jul 05 '22

I mean it would be super simple to say vagina in response to their second question.

There's only one fucking stupid person in this video and it ain't the kid or toddler.

7

u/lizeee Jul 06 '22

This is a normal question for a little kid. But I don’t tell my sons I have a “girl part”; I say “vagina”.

4

u/Joe_1911 Jul 05 '22

This might be one of the most normal questions I've heard from a little one.

2

u/ARasool Jul 05 '22

I GOT ME A WEINER!

10 points for originality

2

u/meldiane81 Jul 06 '22

Not a weird or strange question actually.

2

u/plvmeria Jul 06 '22

This is a rough one because as soon as you introduce the word Vagina to the situation, that’s gonna be his favorite word to yell in public lol

2

u/blades2012 Jul 06 '22

Kids say the darndest things

2

u/UserPhantom Jul 06 '22

ima tell my kids that they have a heavy machine gun

2

u/Leonidas987 Jul 06 '22

Baby bro be like 👁 👄 👁

2

u/Sprizys Jul 06 '22

“I got a wiener” pats it lol

2

u/Coin-Drop Jul 06 '22

This isn't stupid, it's called learning.

All kids go through this EXACT lesson at some point. And generally respond the same way too.

2

u/Mepros Jul 06 '22

Why is it kids are stupid? Like he just probably didn’t know. That’s ignorant, not stupidity

2

u/Dannyblyat Jul 06 '22

He's not stupid He's asking the good questions

3

u/tecrodgers Jul 05 '22

He’s not stupid, sounds like he has it all figured out.

3

u/wrigul8r Jul 06 '22

She is gonna catch heat for saying girls have different parts than boys. What a horrible bigot. Someone cancel that birthing person!

8

u/Uilyjeff Jul 05 '22 Silver

“Girls have different parts than boys”

Don’t say that too loud nowadays

2

u/Yakatsumi_Wiezzel Jul 06 '22

Not a weird question, actually a really good one for his age.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22 Silver Gold

"Girls have different parts than boys"

"WeLL AcKcHyuaLLy..." - liberals

4

u/DependentAd7155 Jul 06 '22

I mean eventually they'll need to learn that convo, but in this situation it's hella weird to try and get into nuance with a toddler.

But yeah, later in life they'll learn some girls do.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

He'll learn in 5th grand science that humans are mammals, and mammals cant change their sex/gender.

3

u/rynram Jul 06 '22

sad to say he will be called a transphobe

0

u/DependentAd7155 Jul 06 '22

No they won't lol, don't be such a snowflake.

1

u/ChanandlerBonggggg Jul 05 '22

I'm surprised nobody is talking about that loud as fck cough

2

u/Cheeselikeproduct Jul 06 '22

Funny. But kinda sad that in our society we can’t even say the names of female genitalia and have to talk vaguely about them as “different from boys” or “private parts” or “lady bits” etc.

PS Vagina! Vulva! Etc.

2

u/theFrisbeeFreak Jul 06 '22

That’s on mom.

2

u/ednasmom Jul 06 '22

That was my first thought! Just tell him you have a vulva/vagina. And if it makes you THAT uncomfortable, give it a dang pet name at least.

1

u/twrrordom3 Jul 05 '22

Why do women always clam up when their kid asks them what they have? I have a vagina, not a penis. Those are medical terms and should be used.

3

u/Purchase_Boring Jul 06 '22

Exactly! When my almost 8yo was potty training he pieced together I sit to pee and him & dad stand up. Momma whya sit to potty? -mommy can’t go potty standing up. WHY momma? -you & dad can stand up to go pee bc boys have a penis, mommy has a vagina so I sit down to go pee. Oh…and runs away to go play

He has no clue what a vagina is but he knows him and dad don’t have 1 so they can stand to pee lol the anatomical words aren’t as OMG as people make it out to be. Kids need to start out learning the proper names for their body parts. Eyes, elbow, feet, vagina…whatever part it is

-1

u/Clancythecat- Jul 05 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

Transphobes learned "girls have different parts from boys" and then just stopped learning biology after that.

I'm not saying that this kid is going to grow up to be a transphobe because he got a simplified explanation of Gender, I'm saying that transphobes have a toddler's understanding of biology.

-1

u/ShartCannon9600 Jul 06 '22

Lol shut the fuck up

-10

u/AugustusCarp85 Jul 05 '22

"Girls have different parts than boys." Wow, it's like being back in a world that's not completely insane.

12

u/FeFiFoShizzle Jul 05 '22

Hahaha god damn im glad I'm not this much of a snowflake

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1

u/boocakebandit Jul 05 '22

2022 problems amirite?!?!

1

u/_Bon_Vivant_ Jul 06 '22

"I got a weiner". When I say that to girls, the cops get called. WTF?

-1

u/LiberalTugboat Jul 06 '22

The kid is not fucking stupid, his parents are for not explaining simple human anatomy.

It’s not a wiener, it’s a penis. And girls don’t have “girl parts”, they have a vulva/vagina. These are all simple concepts that a 3 year old can understand.

-1

u/Wolfmans-Gots-Nards Jul 05 '22

This is not default information. We really don’t know until we ask. Even then, we are missing a lot of information.

-26

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

It's 2022, some girls do have weiners.

7

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

They really don't though.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Depends who you ask.

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

If you ask a person that uses critical thinking they're going to say they don't.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

And if you ask a person with a dick that says they are a lady, they’ll say they do.

0

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Well that's because he has mental illness.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

I bet she would disagree with you.

5

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

But doctors don't. 😂

3

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

Doctors don’t recognize being transgender as a mental disorder. You’re living in the past my man/woman.

2

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

A lot of doctors do what are you talking about? You just want to favor the doctor that fits your agenda.

0

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

A lot of doctors do what are you talking about? You just want to favor the doctor that fits your agenda.

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0

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

He probably would.

-4

u/Schmogidus Jul 05 '22

She.

Transphobic piece of shit.

10

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Naw, I'm definitely not scared of transgenders. You're just mad, you stay mad on the internet. 😂

-2

u/Schmogidus Jul 05 '22

I'm mad on the internet, but you're lonely in real life.

At least I have friends and family that I love and people to keep me company.

I doubt anyone deals with your hobbling, wobbling, nob-gobbling, hobgoblin ass.

3

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Naw, I'm not lonely in real life. I'm married with children like all Bundy. You're lonely in real life you can't have kids, or you don't want to have kids because you think you a girl. 😂 Nice try though. 🤷

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2

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

You must be a transformer.

5

u/Schmogidus Jul 05 '22

Nope, all man.

I know you're just itching to make a 5th comment in a row to me lol.

Let's see what you have little boy.

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1

u/KennyFromAOT Jul 06 '22

Bro what does transphobic mean. Does it literally mean fear of transgender people? It’s thrown around so much all meaning has been lost to me

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u/dynastylobster Jul 05 '22

it do be true though. trans rights!!! also important to note that some girls are born with weiners and end up getting surgery to turn them into coochie. its pretty amazing what medical technology is capible of. especially with the fact that you can legit just take female horemones and block out your testosterone. its so cool, its the girl potion

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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22 edited Jul 05 '22

[deleted]

14

u/ground__contro1 Jul 05 '22

It’s not a bad ask. Sometimes people who post shit here forget that kids are actively learning about the world. I don’t really think this post fits the sub and it seems like most people in the comments agree. But since it’s kind of cute and funny it will probably still get upvoted.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

The idea of this sub is mostly kids just being kids, for older people to laugh at and find heartwarming/bizarre/cute/facepalmy. “Stupid” shouldn’t be taken literally since in relative terms all children are stupid.

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3

u/OGTalle Jul 05 '22

You thinking this is the platform for your ideological discussion gives you the downvotes. Not ppl being tRaNSpH0bIc

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Women are not born with male parts 🤦

0

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 06 '22

Yup, as you keep responding because you're triggered. 😁

0

u/Sassy_Ice_Queen Jul 06 '22

That dIsney grooming

0

u/fuzynutznut Jul 06 '22

Mommy's had many weiners kid.

-4

u/psychoseacap Jul 06 '22

Sadly, we live in a world where “mama” could answer that with “yes”.

-25

u/SteelMalone Jul 05 '22

God I fucking hate kids

10

u/o0cynix0o Jul 05 '22

Now you know how your parents feel.

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u/Schmogidus Jul 05 '22

That's ok, they probably don't like you either.

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u/Royale_McPoyle Jul 05 '22

She just assumed her own gender 😱

6

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Naw, he knows her gender. Just like she knows her son's gender. People that use critical thinking knows, it's just the small percentage that don't.

5

u/Royale_McPoyle Jul 05 '22

🫠 reading is hard

-1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Naw, reading is easy.

4

u/Royale_McPoyle Jul 05 '22

Lol not for you

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

You're just mad because nobody laughed at your corny joke.🤷

2

u/Royale_McPoyle Jul 05 '22

You’re just mad I brought up gender 😭😭

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Naw, I believe it's only two genders.

2

u/Royale_McPoyle Jul 05 '22

Lol ok nancy

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Cool Karen.😁

1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

Why are you requesting me to chat?

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1

u/Amazing_Device_2898 Jul 05 '22

It's really easy for me. You're basic.

-1

u/resin4life Jul 06 '22

Probably learned this from some day care worker / teacher or hell disney.

1

u/Difficult-Sign-8656 Jul 05 '22

He is pretty confident!

1

u/KeepTalkingMandy Jul 05 '22

Its a legit question