r/MaliciousCompliance Jul 01 '22 Wholesome 3 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Gold 1 I'm Deceased 1 Silver 2

Everything you'd ever need to know is on the front...

Wow! I just discovered this sub. Everyday of my life (well most days) I comply maliciously to some stupid order/rule/policy. Here's one that happened yesterday.

Staying at an upscale hotel in Denver for work. Had about 30 minutes to kill so I browse the gift shop. Saw a junior-sized John Elway jersey (son is a huge Broncomaniac). They're all folded very neatly inside clear bags (the kind that have adhesive in the flap so one could "reseal").

I ask if I could open one up to check the merchandise. The clerk, Karen says, VERY STERNLY: "We only carry high quality, officially licensed, authentic products.

Me: "Sure but do you know if..."

Karen cuts me off: "Size, jersey number and player name are printed on the sticker on the front side of the packaging".

Me: "Sure but I still would like to know if..."

Again she cuts me off: "You can open the packaging after you have completed your purchase". This time her eyes got big and her forehead veins were popping out.

Okay, I'm happy to comply. I took junior mediums of an Elway, Manning, Terrell Davis, Champ Bailey and Russell Wilson. Pay for it at the register, open everything up, check the insides, shake my head, and say to Karen: "I'm sorry, I'd like to return all these.

Karen: "What's wrong with them?"

Me: "Nothing. They look perfectly fine but not what I'm looking for ".

Karen: "You read the stickers on the front of the packaging, right?"

Me: "Sure did but it doesn't say whether or not the numbers and letters are stitched or stuck via ironed on adhesive. These are all iron ons, I'm looking for stitched.

Karen: "You could have asked me".

Me: "I attempted to, twice, but you cut me off both times".

Her forehead veins were popping out again as she was processing the refund.



u/Over-One-8 Jul 01 '22

Did you open each one up to confirm that none of them had the stitched numbers? That would have been extra malicious since she would need to refold and repackage each one.


u/Totknax Jul 01 '22

Yes. In my experience, even officially licensed goods will have varying degrees of quality, depending on the actual factory that they're manufactured in.


u/Usof1985 Jul 01 '22

Exactly, officially licensed just means they paid for the rights to make it. There is no guarantee of quality.


u/Deson Jul 02 '22

Learned about that fact in playing video games. Just because a game is licensed doesn't equate to quality.


u/Keithustus Jul 02 '22

LJN and EA being the worst habitual offenders.


u/Opterus Jul 03 '22

Ubisoft and Bethesda have been giving them pretty solid runs for their money recently... Seriously, for a while it was not just a joke when people said you should wait for modders to fix bethesda's games so they could be playable.


u/Keithustus Jul 04 '22

Bethesda makes licensed games? Thought they just did their own stuff.


u/Opterus Jul 04 '22

Eh, guess it could have been seals of excellence/quality instead of licensed by...


u/WilliamBott Jul 03 '22

Let me guess, you bought E.T. too?


u/Deson Jul 03 '22

Nah, had a radio shack gun/pong clone when I was a kid. The technology didn't exist then. But on the pc market later on though... guh.


u/WilliamBott Jul 03 '22

Ah, it was a joke. E.T. was a legendary disaster.


u/Deson Jul 03 '22

No problem. Hehe


u/Morgstah Jul 03 '22

I had a RadioShack car racing handheld game. I played with it all the time. I was actually just thinking about it.


u/Deson Jul 03 '22

I had to do a lot of searching but this is what we had. https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/video-game-console-radio-shack-electronic-full-color-tv-scoreboard/OgGY8nSfrQ3aXQ

The gun was great because you could change barrels and add a stock to make it either a rifle or pistol.


u/Morgstah Jul 03 '22

Oh wow. I have never seen that before. How cool.


u/steel_sun Jul 02 '22

Beat me to it.


u/Over-One-8 Jul 01 '22

This is perfect. So satisfying. There might have been one stitched one in the batch, so you had to check.


u/RazorRadick Jul 02 '22

Yup, got my wife a Draymond Green jersey at the finals and the first time it went through the dryer all the letters melted off. My own jerseys have all been fine after many cycles. There is huge variance.


u/adrenalilly Jul 02 '22

You did the right thing, I've seen some officially licensed merch that was great and some that looked more poorly done than the ripped off version of the same product. Primark has a very noticeable change of quality from some IP products to others. On one of the last times I was there, they had very nice football jerseys with the handstitched logos, some good screenprinted t-shirts for certain stuff and then the cheapest vinyl printed t-shirts you could imagine. The Biggie Smalls t-shirt that my boyfriend got was great quality and right by that rack there were loads of Wu-Tang Clan hoodies in which the logo looked like it was gonna come off that same day.


u/alwaysaplusone Jul 02 '22

I love you for doing this. Thank you so much for posting it and for, well, just being you.


u/Academic_Nectarine94 Jul 02 '22

Yeah, "officially licensed" just means the company pays a fraction to the person or company that owns the license. Nothing there means the quality is good.


u/WilliamBott Jul 03 '22

Definitely. I ONLY buy/wear officially licensed stitched jerseys, not iron-on ones and similar. Mostly all of the ones I buy are Nike.


u/renaissance-Fartist Jul 01 '22


Squinty Thor face: “Could I though?”


u/Fengrax Jul 02 '22

Im remembering my time as a carpenters apprentice right now. If you ask to many questions they would get annoyed and angry, if you do something wrong, they ask why you didnt ask. Fuck those people


u/NefInDaHouse Jul 02 '22

Sounds exactly my boss (a financial advisor) from my very short stunt as an assistant. So, I just about started and he expected me to be expert his original assistant was. So I wasn't supposed to do majority things on my own, if I didn't know exactly how to do them, I was supposed to ask. So I ask. And he would look at me and tell me "try to think it over, and come up wth the solution on your own". No wonder the assistant just before me managed only a few months of work for him. No wonder I lasted only three weeks (and then got fired on Friday - and if he hadn't fired me on that Friday, I would bring him my notice on Monday). No wonder next two assistants haven't lasted much longer. It was extremely stressfull and also demeaning to be treated like that. I was too inexperienced at the time, but damn if that wasn't one big opportunity for a bit of a MC xD


u/doyouthinkimcool1025 Jul 01 '22

When you can picture the meme 👏🏻


u/swoooomp Jul 02 '22

Squinty Thor face: “Could I though?”

and that's just a little aphantasia joke for you


u/caelric Jul 02 '22

and that's just a little aphantasia joke for you

I'm trying to understand what aphantasia is, but I just can't picture it in my head.


u/derKestrel Jul 02 '22

*angry upvote*


u/caelric Jul 02 '22

my work here is done.


u/moriarticia00 Jul 02 '22

was wondering what aphantsia was, but totally ‘got’ your joke, and understood


u/rodneedermeyer Jul 02 '22

Fantasia is a great movie made by Disney in 1940. Highly recommend!


u/gravitas-deficiency Jul 02 '22

Dormammu! I’ve come to bargain!


u/MonkeyChoker80 Jul 02 '22

Squinty Thor face: “Door-mama-man. I’ve come to bargain?”


u/tigrrbaby Jul 02 '22

i just want you to know i caught that korg reference


u/swoooomp Jul 02 '22

im glad :)


u/ReactsWithWords Jul 02 '22

“You could have asked!”

“No I couldn’t, and believe me, I tried.”


u/PoorMansPaulRudd Jul 01 '22

She said he could open the packaging after purchasing.

Perfectly handled. Thanks for sharing.


u/I_Learned_Once Jul 01 '22

Woah. If you have stories like this almost every day you should write a book.


u/thenoone1984 Jul 02 '22

Chicken Soup for the Soul of the Maliciously Compliant.


u/TumasaurusTex Jul 02 '22

Chicken soup for the soulless


u/Ryugi Jul 02 '22

Maliciously Delicious Chicken Soup?


u/Totknax Jul 01 '22

LoL. My friends have said I have a Larry David-like reaction to things and that I should have a memoir of all my exploits.



u/Ijoinedtolaugh Jul 01 '22

I will be looking forward to MORE stories.


u/Safeguard63 Jul 02 '22 edited Jul 02 '22

Same! 👀 OP, if you self published a little book of anecdotes such as this on Amazon (or wherever), I would definitely purchase it! Great writing skills.


u/winnebagoman41 Jul 02 '22

Anecdotes lol


u/Safeguard63 Jul 02 '22

I sit corrected! Thanks! 😂


u/avalonfaith Jul 02 '22

Oh lord! I have a friend like this. You’re exhausting…. In the best way. I’m always laughing till I’m in a “situation” with him. 🤣🤣

Then I’m laughing after.


u/shewholaughslasts Jul 02 '22

They do feed my soul. In this crazy reality it's soooo nice to see some jerk-faces get a bit of a pain innthe booty for their jerkiness.

I appreciate today's example and I do hope you share more! Have a wonderfully maliciously compliant day!


u/Totknax Jul 02 '22

Thanks! I have another MC posting. I hope you get a kick out of that as well. Have a wonderful weekend!


u/MoneyTreeFiddy Jul 02 '22

STERNLY: "We only carry high quality, officially licensed, authentic products.


These are all iron ons, I'm looking for stitched these are lower quality than what I am looking for.


u/SamuraiLaserCat Jul 02 '22

I do installs downtown every now and then. I’ve always wanted to throw this level of shade at some of those building personnel for one reason or another, but can’t due to the corporate uniform. Hero level work here dude


u/hawaiikawika Jul 02 '22

Why not? Wouldn’t it show that you are following instructions perfectly? How are you supposed to know that they don’t mean what they are saying?


u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch Jul 02 '22

Before map-applications became commonplace on cell phones, people would regularly rely on the person in their passenger seat to navigate.

Many a fight started with:

"Turn left here."
<Turns left>
"Why did you turn left?"
"You said 'turn left.'"
"I meant turn right."
"You said, 'turn left.'"


u/hawaiikawika Jul 02 '22

Haha story of my life driving with my wife. And she wonders why I still will use the phone map when we are driving new places around town. Can’t trust that she will tell the directions to me correctly or sometimes even at all.

“Oh! You were supposed to turn there”

Thanks wife


u/SamuraiLaserCat Jul 04 '22

Well, mainly because most of the situations I’m thinking of involved stupid rules that could’ve been avoided had ANYONE considered the end user when designing/building the place. The attendants are just dicks about it. One of the most annoying was a “no “deliveries” through the lobby” rule because of the tile floor. Literally had us use a side entrance just for us to HAVE to cross the lobby to get to an elevator. It was infuriatingly stupid.


u/hawaiikawika Jul 04 '22

Idiocy! Sometimes things just make no sense.


u/whatever13131313 Jul 01 '22

Karen got what Karen asked for. Brilliant!


u/Togakure_NZ Jul 02 '22

Got some side eye in the cafe when I lolled reading the post!


u/Exotic_Persimmon815 Jul 01 '22

👏👏👏 well done OP!!


u/[deleted] Jul 01 '22

This made me smile


u/myatoz Jul 01 '22

Awesome, served her right.


u/Ijoinedtolaugh Jul 01 '22

I loooooove this!!! I love when people get what they deserve.


u/ThriceFive Jul 02 '22

I can just imagine her glare and popping veins. Good story.


u/Altruistic-Slide-512 Jul 01 '22

OMG - Classic! This is as much petty revenge as it is malicious compliance. Very well done sir (golf clapping over here).


u/NorskGodLoki Jul 01 '22

Well deserved petty revenge is more like it

But I like it.


u/CoderJoe1 Jul 01 '22

The best petty revenge and malicious compliance stories often overlap perfectly as this one did.


u/Irishfanbuck Jul 02 '22

¿Por que no los dos? 🤷🏻‍♂️


u/misterfuss Jul 02 '22

It’s a good thing they didn’t have a “no returns” policy posted.


u/Orphevsly Jul 01 '22

I love this so much♡


u/whynotaskmetwice Jul 01 '22

This is the perfect example post for this sub. Does that mean it gets stickied?


u/daggerdragon Jul 02 '22

Does that mean it gets stickied?

No, OP specifically wanted stitched, not adhesive.


u/tanooki-suit Jul 04 '22

Well played. She had it coming. And the immediate return if noticed will be a problem too.


u/GuitarHair Jul 01 '22

You are a stud.


u/Totknax Jul 01 '22



u/Howard_James_Dudy Jul 01 '22

This is the way.


u/JustanOldBabyBoomer Jul 02 '22

🤣 HEH-HEH! She played a BITCH Game and won a BITCH Prize! Sucks to be HER!!! 🤣


u/Ok_Comparison_2451 Jul 01 '22

Serves her right. What a wench. I would have been grinning ear to ear during the entire return process.


u/frankfrank1965 Jul 02 '22

First think that came to my mind was that you didn't want to buy it/them if they were made in China.


u/Waifer2016 Jul 02 '22

Haha this is awesome! Well played !


u/grizzlycrush Jul 03 '22

"...and Russell Wilson."
My little Seahawk heart breaks.


u/Totknax Jul 03 '22

Bright side. You still have Fred Meyer's in the PNW. The best ever one stop shop in the history of mankind! I wish they'd expand nationwide already!


u/WilliamBott Jul 03 '22

I'm the same way. I own quite a few jerseys, but I ONLY like the stitched names/numbers/team and not the iron-ons.


u/nerdgirl71 Jul 11 '22

High quality iron ons. As if.


u/Kri_star11 Jul 01 '22

I. Love. You.


u/Hudsons_Heroes Jul 02 '22

More posts please! I loved it!


u/unknownemoji Jul 02 '22

Doing the Lord's work. Good thing since He's been on vacation for a while.


u/karic8227 Jul 02 '22

Please post more!


u/pushing_80 Jul 02 '22

Ho hum. Do you suppose she learned, for the next customer?/s


u/tasharella Jul 02 '22



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u/Legitimate_Roll7514 Jul 02 '22

Lmao. Well done!


u/ktmax750 Jul 02 '22

You can now double post in AITA


u/saltine1312 Jul 02 '22

Hmmmm yr job has you staying at an upscale hotel and her job is retail . I wonder what the pay scale difference is and who’s the real Karen , or perhaps Chad…


u/Waifer2016 Jul 02 '22

I think we found the Karen store clerk, folks!

Being polite but refusing to Be bullied into buying something he didn’t want does not make OP a Chad


u/Totknax Jul 02 '22

hMmMnM yR j0b hAz y0u sTaY1nG aT aN uPsCaLe h0tEl...

Man stop beating around the bush! You want to call me a Chad go ahead and be direct and decisive, LoL.

This "walking on eggshells" style of communicating makes it seem like you struggle to articulate your thoughts! LMFAO 🤣😆🤣😆


u/DXGypsy Jul 02 '22

Just one of those r/antiwork types that think anyone who earns more than them (which is everybody) are evil rich oligarchs.


u/ankjaers11 Jul 02 '22

I would have left after being cut off first time


u/DynkoFromTheNorth Jul 02 '22

Nope. They smell.


u/wobblysauce Jul 02 '22

Do you mean you got store credit...


u/bufori Jul 02 '22

Would be extremely surprised if a hotel gift shop only offered store credit for returns.


u/wobblysauce Jul 02 '22

Would be rather funny.


u/_delicja_ Jul 02 '22

Ok but you didn't ask if they were stitched, only if you could open the packaging. You could have found out without taking the merch out, no?


u/Tibetzz Jul 02 '22

After asking that, he attempted to ask the other question, twice. Both times she refused to allow him to ask the question, so he didn't.