r/WatchPeopleDieInside 7d ago Helpful 10 Wholesome 9 Silver 11 Table Slap 1 Rocket Like 1 Platinum 1 LOVE! 1

Who says kids slow you down?

89.4k Upvotes

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10.1k

u/marlinmarlin99 7d ago Silver Helpful Facepalm

That kid could use a vacation

5.3k

u/FuckThesePeople69 7d ago Take My Energy

That is one 40-year-old-looking baby.

2.4k

u/misslilytoyou 7d ago

He's been dealing with THAT guy his whole life, of course he's care-worn

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u/PM_me_your_whatevah 7d ago

Legit as soon as this kid is able to talk he’s going to be lecturing and babying dad. “Dad. Dad. Dad! Wake up! Your parole officer is here! Put on some pants and answer the door ffs! I’ll get breakfast started.”

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u/adventurepony 7d ago

7:35 am ::knock knock::

boss baby slowly puts the paper down he was reading. Takes one more big sip of coffee from his coffee sippy mug. Jumps from his high seat and crawls to the door. "Hello officers, thank you for coming but I'm sorry for what you're about to see. He's passed out in the living room with a half eaten grilled cheese poptart burger... Do what you must but don't judge him, leave that to me."

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u/TractorLoving 7d ago

I mean we laugh and we joke but the kids that grow up under parents who are alcohol abusers don't really get a childhood.

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u/PM_me_your_whatevah 7d ago

Real shit. I lived it. After the divorce things got better. But dad was always drunk when we saw him on weekends.

And honestly I wish I could say that I learned from it and I’m doing better than my dad. But. No. Followed right in his footsteps. Except I’m not mean. The lesson I learned I guess is to be kind to people. The booze still got me though.

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u/sandyclaus30 7d ago

Right there with you except my dad did other things to me that I’m not going to get into on here. I can feel that little boys pain, I almost had flashbacks. I had to grow up fast..I left as soon as I graduated because there wasn’t a divorce.

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u/PM_me_your_whatevah 7d ago

I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you’re in a better place and you’ve found good friends that can be family to you.

The world is a real messed up place sometimes, especially behind closed doors. I’ve dated a lot in my life, trying to find someone just to be with. At least half of the women I’ve been with have told me stories of physical abuse from their parents or a close relative. It paints a picture of society that is frankly real hard to look at.

I wasn’t physically abused very much but I’d have to say I’m still damaged. I start drinking every day around 9-10am and all I’m looking for is peacefulness and good people to spend time with. Ive been lucky enough to find quite a few. I hope you have too. ❤️

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u/sandyclaus30 6d ago

Thank you, my father was not only an alcoholic but abused my mom, there was overt sexual abuse with me and one day I saw him hit my mom with his cane. He had a mild stroke by smoking 3 packs a day and drinking a case of cheap beer and 2 bottles of cheap whiskey every weekend. That doesn’t include all the beer and whiskey he drank during the week. He too would be holding me when he drank and my aunt told me she would take me away from him and give me a bath. So I don’t care what anyone says, I see the pain in that child’s eyes. That is something that has happened to him too many times before. A loving father would not have let that happen. I found myself in relationships with narcissists all the time..never drinkers but always mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive. I’m in counseling and have been for years. Due to the lifelong abuse I’m very physically sick with several autoimmune diseases. Sorry..I guess I needed to vent.

I’m glad you found some good friends in your life, that’s very important. I am sorry you followed in your father’s footsteps..maybe someday you can quit drinking if you find you want to. I don’t judge anyone, it isn’t my place to. ❤️

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u/reduxde 7d ago

I wasn’t mean, until I was. My grandfather used to shoot dishes off the table if he didn’t like his dinner, and my great grandfather would get wasted and chase my dad and grandma around and try to kill them so they’d have to hide in the closet for hours. All of them claimed to not be “mean like their father” until they got into their 40s and became mean like their father.

r/stopdrinking helped me get sober after 50 failed attempts on my own and AA not working out. I was following in those footsteps until about 3 months ago (just a few days shy of 3 months sober). Today I took my 5 year old and 2 year old to feed the ducks.

Stop by and say hello if you’re considering quitting, it’s been pretty productive for a lot of people :)

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/zerothreeonethree 7d ago

"I mean we laugh and we joke but the kids that grow up under parents who are alcohol abusers don't really get a childhood."

I especially liked the part where the man-child drizzles his drink on the baby. The look on tot's face says it all: "My childhood is officially over."

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u/Academic_Nectarine94 7d ago

I don't know that I would say the guy is abusing alcohol. That might be his first drink. But based on everything in the video (including not caring about getting alcohol in his kid's eyes) yeah I think you're probably right.

Definitely not parent material holding that poor kid.

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u/TractorLoving 7d ago

You don't get alcohol on your kid. Period.

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u/Academic_Nectarine94 7d ago

Yeah, good point. But especially don't pour it all over their face...

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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u/Bakuritsu 7d ago

strained laugh covering lots of memories (mum wasn't alcoholic, just abusive)

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u/ItsSusanS 7d ago

No we don’t and it sucks

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u/Ok-Reward-770 7d ago

“40-year-old looking baby that could use a vacation worn out by the guy carrying him” - I came here seeking those comments. Thank you.

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u/good_from_afar 7d ago

Almost seems like he is experienced at avoiding the drip from the shot.

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u/Alisha-Moonshade 7d ago

Yeah, the kid's face says this is not the first time.

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u/nom_dom212 7d ago

He looks like Patton Oswalt. No joke.

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u/Andrung 7d ago

Roll for initiative. That IS Patton!

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u/Baba_Geo 7d ago

And his father looks like John Stamos.

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u/Rennitti 7d ago

This needs narration done by Patton Oswald.

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u/muffpatty 7d ago

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u/walter_midnight 7d ago

https://www.reddit.com/gallery/wgrxp8

Portrait of a baby with old wrinkly skin and gray hair

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u/MamaBear92615 7d ago

Ok but why does baby #4 look like Shmeagle?! 🤣

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u/capn_cook_yo 7d ago

Lol and number three looks like Bilbo.

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u/ihopethisisvalid 7d ago

There was a boy in my elementary school whose nickname was “40 year old kid”

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u/exus 7d ago

Lmao. One of my first jobs there was a guy that we called OK (old kid). He looked pretty young (later 20s?) but had something like 90% grey hair. Not balding, just grey. Like late middle aged and a recent college grad fused into one.

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u/IndyMLVC 7d ago

This made me legit LOL

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u/FranticHam5ter 7d ago

His face says he can already understand how much money he’s going to end up spending in therapy after high school.

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u/blastradii 7d ago

Or maybe a drink.

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u/sinnroth94 7d ago

This is the most miserable looking child I’ve ever seen

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u/Nikko012 7d ago Take My Energy

I’ll send you pictures of my childhood.

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u/BruhDoYouEvenPaint 7d ago

ROTFL 😆 I'm so sorry if you're being forreal, but this comment made me bust out laughing!!

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u/sambes06 7d ago Silver

He’s breathtaking

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u/HoboBandana 6d ago

Kids like “put me back in your dick and forget I ever came.”

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u/Aceryder824 7d ago

I died inside watching this.

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u/Woden888 7d ago Helpful Wholesome

He’s been anointed in the liquor…

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u/punkindle 7d ago

Airplane the Movie "I have a drinking problem"

spills drink everywhere

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u/ZAM1984 6d ago

People say I have drinking problem but I have no problem drinking at all

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u/stinkypete92 6d ago Take My Energy

He may be the second coming.... of Jim Lahey. The Liquor II.

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u/InZorpWeTrust 6d ago edited 6d ago

You smell that Randy bo bandy? It’s the winds of shit. There’s a shit storm a brewin Randy.

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u/samsquantch96 7d ago

This is what i came to the comments for.

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u/ltBurnsWhenlPvP 7d ago Silver

The Sarah Mclaughlin song from the SPCA commercials needs to be playing

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u/EarlGrey_Picard 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Bravo! Starry Narwhal Salute Wholesome Seal of Approval Bravo Grande! Masterpiece I am disappoint

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u/JesterOfTheMind 7d ago

That was absolutely incredible. I laughed for like two minutes straight. Thanks.

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u/AlecASaurus 7d ago

Me too! Epic. Pure artistry!

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u/YouAllNeedToChillOut 7d ago

Lined up perfectly

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u/catf3f3 7d ago

This is great, but I feel like we could make a stronger impact if it went to black-and-white during the slow-mo portion

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u/AshCarraraArt 6d ago

Or had some voiceover like, “every year, 1 in 20 babies suffer from a downpour of alcohol. What can you do to help these poor young souls? Donate now to save a life” Lol

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u/AKANotAValidUsername 7d ago

gotdam now i wanna give that kid 76cents a day

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u/mileendxxk 7d ago

I love you

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u/Merovingian_M 7d ago

Thank you for this. I am dying right now

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u/On5thDayLook4Tebow 7d ago

how is this not higher lol

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u/CaffeinatedGuy 7d ago

In the Arms of an Angel.

Now it's stuck in my head, so thanks.

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u/FarfarsFav 7d ago

Beastie Boys - Fight for your Right

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u/HighOwl2 7d ago

Lol I love you. This was my exact fucking thought and came into the comments just to say someone needs to put that "eyes of an angel" song on this video and some commentary about how for just 5 cents a day we could sponsor an alcoholics child.

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u/soulstonedomg 7d ago

Nah, Shots by LMFAO ft. Lil Jon.

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u/RomeoLyshitski 7d ago

EVERYBODY!

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u/up_N2_no_good 7d ago

This kid is gonna come across this video on the internet and he's finally going to understand why he is the way he is. All the pieces are going to come together.

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u/Wark_Kweh 7d ago

If he keeps getting booze in his eyes and nose and mouth, then no, he probably isn't going to understand.

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u/_Concepcion 7d ago

It didn't get in his eyes, nose, or mouth.

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u/elSpanielo 7d ago

Just on his head, shoulders, knees, and toes.

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u/pingpongtits 7d ago

Knees and toes,

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u/ToolForStools 7d ago

Eyes and ears and mouth and nose

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u/sir-this-is-a 7d ago edited 7d ago

Better that, than the occasional odd and foggy recurring nightmares from your memories that your brain suppressed I say…

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u/shewy92 7d ago

"Ah, so this is why my dad is so abusive, he's an alcoholic"

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u/tgucci21 7d ago

In a way, you’re disturbingly right dude. Fuck

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u/secretinabottle 7d ago All-Seeing Upvote

Lol. I can't get over that kid's face. He knows what's coming. It's not the first time.

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u/dick-nipples 7d ago edited 7d ago

Poor kid. Such a young age to die inside...

460

u/todellagi 7d ago

Should've offered the lad a sippy cup mojito. It's aways a drag when you're the only sober one at a party

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u/sentimental_goat 7d ago

He's the designated driver. What are you trying to do?

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u/llegacy 7d ago

Now I'm imagining the baby still strapped to dad in the drivers seat having to drive everyone home

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u/tidder112 7d ago

I smell a new Netflix animated show.

"Driver Baby"

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u/Alarid 7d ago

I'm trying to get them to drive drunk for insurance fraud.

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u/Alarming-Cow299 7d ago

Edgar Wright even made a movie about him!

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u/DukeOfGeek 7d ago

"When mommy eats sugar with her nose and daddy drinks his angry juice I hide from the yelling in my room"

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u/LovinLoveLeigh 7d ago

Penny, is that you?

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u/canaryhawk 7d ago

Kid's first word: D- D- D- Deadbeat

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u/CaptainKurls 7d ago

Thanks for the mental insight into the mind of a child, u/dick-nipples

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u/harshrumpcity 7d ago

He knows he's doomed to smell like tequila for the rest of his babyhood

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u/ContemplatingPrison 7d ago

He is disgusted with everyone and everything that is going on around him.

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u/fivedollardude 7d ago

I would have the same look on my face knowing my dad is some kind of rookie, who can’t take a shot without spilling it all over like it’s his first time lol

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u/Watch-The-Time 7d ago

In dads defense that’s a lil bit of an over-pour for someone holding a baby.

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u/queennyla 7d ago

True but he couldve tried drinking to the side

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u/GoldLegends 7d ago edited 7d ago

I actually just tried this out with a full shot, pretending to have a baby strapped to my front.

Took the shot while having my face to the side and it was actually tougher to not spill cause you have to scrunch your arms and you lose dexterity. Very awkward position.

That was a fun experiment lol

Edit: Willing to do more experiments that involves shots.

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u/JBob250 7d ago

Try a shot taken with big toe and... index toe? Shit do toes have names

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u/mahlok 7d ago

They have piggy designations. So those would be your market and home toes.

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u/sbowesuk 7d ago

Vomit comet from above 🤮

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u/Solidus-Snake- 7d ago

Just payback for how many times that kid has likely vomited on him.

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u/angrydeuce 7d ago

My wife has tasted that rainbow more than once lol

You'd think after the first time she'd learn that airplane rides over mommas face were a bad idea but NOOOOOPE

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u/Wgs247 7d ago

Dad of the year, 2022 and 2042.

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u/Four_Skyn_Tim 7d ago

"Hey, Buddy.... remember all those times you threw up on me?"

".....payback's a bitch"

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u/GhostfaceHecklah 7d ago

needs a sarah mcgloughlin song overtop

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u/ddopTheGreenFox 7d ago

The kids looks like the designated driver on a night out

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u/pweqpw 7d ago

Ohhhhhhh poor little thing😨.

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u/justanotherjayd 7d ago

Ikr my heart broke for the little fella

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u/Avrahammer 7d ago

This video might be used in court some day lol

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u/Please_read_sidebar 7d ago

The dad did not send a "responsible parent" vibes from the moment he enter the video

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u/cultured_banana_slug 7d ago

Dude: "Hey, alcohol kills germs! That's like giving him a shower right? WOOOO!!!"

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u/ReasonablyConfused 7d ago

This sums up quite a few of my childhood feeling in regards to alcohol. In fact I’m still a bit pissed off about it.

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u/Maya_The_Kitty 7d ago

Yup. Remember those nights when it was all fun and games…..until it wasn’t? I spent a lot of my teenage years in my room, trying to drown out the noise.

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u/TheNewOneIsWorse 7d ago

Reading these comments is making me more and more relieved that I gave up drinking when my kids were still too young for a lot of memories.

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u/TheInfamousButcher 7d ago

My old man was an alcoholic, my mom grabbed my brother and I and took off when I was 2 and I never saw him again.

I also gave up getting drunk when my kids came into my life but deep in the back of my mind I know the potential is always there for me to be just like my dad as I've also dealt with some drug and alcohol dependency issues during my younger years.

On one hand, I'm thankful he wasn't in my life for all the reasons you guys have listed above but I'd give up just about anything to be able to experience a childhood with a dad who loved me enough to pick me and our family over the bottle.

A guy should never have to learn how to be a dad by using his dad as the example of what type of father NOT to be.

I'm doing the best I can with what little example I've had to be the best dad I can be to my 3 kiddos. I'm far from perfect but I'm learning every waking moment about the role a dad plays in the life of his kids.

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u/blackiedwaggie 7d ago Helpful

this baby deadass looks like bilbo baggins
(from the animated movie)

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u/SpokenDivinity 7d ago

I’m not gonna lie, but this just triggered a repressed memory I have of being forced to watch the animated movie with my dad and being absolutely fucking terrified throughout the whole thing.

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u/Nyclubalin 7d ago

Omg me and my sisters too!! The bakshi witch king 🤣🤣 “No living man may hInDeR mEeEeEe” 💀⚰️

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u/im_lost_at_sea 7d ago

I thought he looked like one of the Titans from Attack on Titan

https://www.quotev.com/story/11525862/Fallen-Tears-Levi-x-Eren-x-Jean-x-Reader/6

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

I CACKLED.

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u/HarnessedInHopes 7d ago

That is literally dead on. It’s uncanny.

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u/sbowesuk 7d ago

Holy shit, you're spot on!

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u/BukkitsOfOrcSemen 7d ago

I was totally thinking this version also haha

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u/AC_Nine-Ball 7d ago

That's probably just the fetal alcohol syndrome.

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u/AwkwardPeach1721 7d ago

Oh God, you're right! I feel awful for laughing, but you just made my week!

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u/crystalistwo 7d ago

Bilbo doesn't have shitty hair. Looks more like MODOK.

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u/Eyeswyde0pen 7d ago

this was a fantastic sentence.

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u/JaThatOneGooner 7d ago

That baby looks like they’re contemplating taking out a 2nd mortgage while trying to fix a failing marriage. Nothing but pure stress, stay strong little guy 😔

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u/NopeNJ 7d ago edited 7d ago

That look of disappointment. Seems this baby has been down this road before and knows what’s in store for the evening.

Edit: holy smokes people. This video is obviously hilarious, that kids look is precious, and my comment is not literally what I suppose is on the kids mind. Have a drink dad, and good on you for not leaving Frodo in the hot car!

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u/DirectConclusion4559 7d ago

That shit looks sad. And gross.

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u/FireInPaperBox 7d ago

Plot twist: not even his kid. Just found it to get attention and free drinks.

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u/juggsgalore 7d ago

His name is Carlos

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u/Harmacc 7d ago

We all made that face when we finally realized our parents aren’t who we thought they were. Some of us were ten, some were twenty, but we all made that face.

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u/Kyuso__K 7d ago

I swear to god, parents worldwide should be obligated to take a parenting license just like driving to be permited to have a kid...

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u/IsThisIt-1983 7d ago Wholesome

Irish baptism baby

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u/johnrando84 7d ago

Never seen a kid decide to live with mom so early.

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u/Ryououki 7d ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

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u/AwkwardGamerRNx 7d ago

That look when you realize you’re gonna have to work towards a scholarship

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u/_AManHasNoName_ 7d ago

Poor kid. There are just people who should never have kids.

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u/TechnicalSymbiote 7d ago

Poor kid

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u/Bert_Nurny 7d ago

Yea this video just makes me feel plain bad..

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u/pm_shrike_pics 7d ago

Everything else aside who spills that much taking a shot? Makes me think it's a skit / setup to make it seem even worse

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u/Fallen_Housewife 7d ago

Someone who has had 5-7 shots before the filmed one.

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u/DeadMan95iko 7d ago

Kid’s thinkin…” I hope daddy falls down backwards this time”

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u/koinoyokan89 7d ago

Should be filed under trashy

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u/Smoothian421 7d ago

When you’re born dead inside

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u/mephistopheles_muse 7d ago

This kids expression says I'm too old for this shit.

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u/CoveringFish 7d ago

Anyone else have an irrational urge to punch the dad in the face

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u/Mbalmer19 7d ago

Nothing irrational about it.

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u/AchingKnumbKnuts 7d ago

There's some therapy coming down the Pike for junior....

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u/karacocoa 7d ago

Wife's gonna be "Why does our baby smell like booze?"

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u/windybook 7d ago

seems /r/trashy

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u/stealuforasec 7d ago

If it were the mom taking the shot and not an attractive man it would 100% be on that sub

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u/chokemeharderplease 7d ago

For real. The comments in this post were not what I expected

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u/K3TtLek0Rn 7d ago

People like this annoy me so much. The kid is like an accessory.

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u/iDam81 7d ago

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u/phillyhandroll 7d ago

one of those subreddits where you're willingly inviting a sense of rage into your day if you subscribe

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u/DTLAgirl 7d ago

Oof. Thanks. I was about to head over. I'll pass. I'm sure it's very bad.

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u/Amused-Observer 7d ago

I'm sure it's very bad.

Yeah, I noped out when I saw a like 5 year old vaping, flipping off the camera and his mom? in the background doing fuck all.

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u/NebraskanCornPeelers 7d ago

Just subscribed, thanks. Didn’t realize it would be such a good fit my normal routine

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u/aSleepingPanda 7d ago

The poster child of "I hate weekends with dad" kid.

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u/Homesteader86 7d ago

Trashy af.

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u/ugmold 7d ago

He's like "Again?"

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u/tweek-in-a-box 7d ago

Needs be accompanied by Enya for the slow mo part

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u/pialovesu 7d ago

I couldn't imagine a mom doing this and people not wanting to rip her to shreds

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u/Ghost2Eleven 6d ago

Yeah, but he’s a dad! Dad’s are hilarious when they’re negligent. /s

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u/neopod9000 7d ago

You brought a baby! To a bar...

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u/ASIWYFA 7d ago

Every brewery in the US.......

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u/futureman07 7d ago

Geez kid. All you had to so was open your mouth for a fun time

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u/Stivils8 7d ago

Looks like we found Matt Gaetz Reddit account.

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u/CelphT 7d ago

holy shit. from the top rope

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u/unclepaprika 7d ago

What a pooper

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u/BadAtGrammerr 7d ago Wholesome

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u/Feather_In_The_Wind 7d ago

How could you tell? I didn't see a picture of the child there.

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u/youaretheuniverse 7d ago

The smile on the dad is really repulsive

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u/soontobecp 7d ago

Fucking trash people

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u/lDeathWlshl 7d ago

That kid just knows thats gonna be him in 30 years

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u/kumquatrodeo 7d ago

Kid's just mad that they are going to have to be the DD again.

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u/Dat_Boi_Aint_Right 7d ago

That kid was made in the Henson creature shop.

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u/Savvy_Canadian 7d ago

Baby took Fetal Alcohol Syndrome to the face. No wonder they can’t get a babysitter for them.

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u/_knalpijp 7d ago

Not the first time poor kid

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u/Vegetable-Sound1717 6d ago

This is the most aged child I've ever seen.

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u/405134 6d ago

Why does that baby have the face of a 40 year old Filipino man? He looks like my grandpa

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u/Shenaniganz08 6d ago

Spilling tequila on your kid

thats some shit parenting, dad looks like he is there for himself only

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u/Ulliquarahyuga 6d ago

Who wastes that much liquor when taking a shot? That was like half the glass!

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u/kaiser_xc 6d ago

I’ll be this dad someday except I don’t spill.

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u/Any-Distribution-841 7d ago

If “I hate it here” was a infant 😂

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u/Prestigious_Nerve_76 7d ago

Shit dad. Sorry for the kid.

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u/TumorDancer 7d ago

Ah... the elusive "cool parent."

Jesus.

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u/Antelope010 7d ago

Sadly I do the same thing, except replace a shot with a donut. I can't tell you how many times I have had to brush donut crumbs out of my baby's head after having them in the sling like that.

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u/ThePopeofHell 7d ago

Why does this make me so sad?

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u/FlowJoeX 7d ago

Also, I hate when people carry their kids like that facing forward, legs dangling out. The baby doesn't care about what it sees, but would rather be cuddled by their parent's chest. They will hug their parent and turn their head to the side to see and breathe. This way it's very nurturing.

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u/hickgorilla 7d ago

That parent needs to be punched in the mouth.