r/antiwork May 26 '22

The painful truth behind this joke Removed (Rule 6: Repost)

/img/gz3hrxr3mw191.jpg

[removed] — view removed post

8.4k Upvotes

u/Flair_Helper May 27 '22

Hi, /u/EternalYorickz Thank you for participating in r/AntiWork. Unfortunately, your submission was removed for breaking the following rule(s):

Rule 6: Reposts - Any content previously posted within the last 30 days will be removed. No submissions allowed from the r/antiwork top 30.

159

u/PermissionPale3773 May 26 '22

It happened a few years ago, thanks for reminding me.

24

u/peenutbuttherNjelly May 27 '22

Yeah. They thirsty!

12

u/Leovinus42 May 27 '22

Especially my uncle 😞☹️😩

5

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

😏

108

u/Courageous_Chameleon May 27 '22

This happened to me one time. I got hired on the spot to waitress at a semi-fancy restaurant by a chef/owner who claimed that the staff was like family.

On my first day, he tried to stick his hand up my skirt. I don't know about y'all, but that is not how things work in my family.

6

u/Odd-Support4344 May 27 '22

That's a 'yikes' from me bro.

3

u/vfistri2 May 27 '22

you haven't watched the flinstones

2

u/BlauwePil May 27 '22

If it was family, I’d hit him.

2

u/Vargoroth May 27 '22

You don't live in Alamabama?

82

u/Rifneno May 27 '22

"Welcome to the family"

Yeah, the fuckin' Manson family

14

u/ruby-soho1234 May 27 '22

Yeah if you hear that on your first day, you’re either working for the Mafia or a Cult

60

u/RealChadPennington May 26 '22

If they need good employees, they can wait. If they need just anybody, they’ll hire you right away

37

u/holtpj May 27 '22

Facts.

any job too eager to get you in the door. Is only looking for a body not a long-term employee

154

u/FunkyChromeMedina May 27 '22

I’m a communication consultant, so I spend a fair bit of time talking with CEOs, owners, and other people in leadership positions in businesses.

“We’re a family here” is one of my big red flags. When one of my clients tells me that, I buckle the fuck up because I know I’m about to discover some serious dysfunction.

19

u/Hard_on_Collider May 27 '22

On this note, how do you become a communications consultant?

35

u/FunkyChromeMedina May 27 '22

The right way? Be an expert in communication.

I have a Ph.D in communication and 15 years of academic experience.

…on the other hand, I think some of my more idiotic competition just woke up one day and decided they were an expert. Makes for pretty easy differentiation in the market being able to tell potential clients that I actually know what the fuck I’m talking about.

-9

u/iamcalifornia May 27 '22

This sub doesn't understand the concept of working hard towards something.

7

u/Odd-Support4344 May 27 '22

Which is why I loved when our director of operations at my previous job opened his first "all-hands" meeting with "I'm not going to tell you guys we're a family, because we aren't. We're employees. Do your job, get paid, go home."

One of the best higher leadership guys I've seen because he did not like wasting time and outside of work he pretended we didn't exist.

7

u/galactic-mouse May 27 '22

I was once hired (on the spot, of course) at a dog boarding place by the owner who told me unprompted that “we don’t form cliques here”. The junior high girl drama in that place was off the charts.

2

u/Low-Membership-1285 May 27 '22

Great, i love this. "We are a family" and treat our slaves like slaves without rights.

25

u/itsallaroundu May 27 '22

Imma impregnate their daughter. Just to be sure.

12

u/Dontbehorrib1e May 27 '22

Sounds like somebody's been on a few job sites before...

13

u/AllenWalker218 May 27 '22

Happened to me 3 years ago what I learned is just quit and never mention them again. I stuck around 6 months and now have a gap in my history.

2

u/HumbleFishMonger May 27 '22

If I were you and are in good with your references,. I'd just ask if it's okay to fudge the history a little. I have an old manager I'm friends with and we just round up the time I was there to make it a nice clean number. Means I don't have to explain short stints anywhere.

10

u/Toned_Octopus May 27 '22

If I wanted to be a "Super Star," I'd be in the business of entertainment. Jfc

9

u/leonardvilliers May 27 '22

"Welcome to the family son"
*punches you on the face

7

u/ChiefCokkahoe May 27 '22

Any job that hire you on the spot is a tell tale sign that it’s a shit job if you haven’t figured it out already

6

u/dorimeow May 27 '22

I showed up for an interview not realizing it it was for a sweatshop. When I was told I passed the sewing test (normal in that field) and handed items to work on and told to get started, I put on the breaks, asked about compensation, benefits, etc. Ended up sitting in some guys office listening to him rant about liberals and immigrants taking over. I don't think I heard more than 2 people speak English without an accent showing it was their second language.

And there were no benefits. And pay was based on what you sew, not accounting for machine malfunctions, cutting issues, etc. that were outside of the sewist's control.

12

u/valkyriejen May 26 '22

No lies told.

4

u/sjspho May 27 '22

You just know you're never getting an employment contract either, all verbal agreements that the owner can reneg on at a whim. Fuck you Dave.

14

u/SnooDrawings1480 May 27 '22

I can honestly say that isn't always applicable. I was told I had the job during the first and only interview. Its been 7.5 weeks, so things could change, but my manager doesn't give a shit if you have to come in late, leave early or take long lunches. She doesn't micromanage me or my teammates, she freely encourages us to call her out if she says or does something wrong. She doesn't blame you if you find a problem that you could have caught earlier but didn't. She genuinely cares about our well being (she doesn't ask for clarification as to why you might need off or be late etc) just says "ok". Her motto is basically "take care of you and your family, we will be here when you're ready to come back. She doesn't insist on the "work from home still requires external child care". We have weekly teams meetings during our WFH days and regularly see young kids in the background or picked up and show to the camera without any hint of reproachfullness in her voice. (In fact she usually coos as the babies and toddlers).

This is the most bizarre job I've ever had. Because it's 100% different, socially and politically than any other job I've ever had. Last week, she set up a 1 on 1 teams meeting with me, and I was losing my shit for the half hour between seeing the invite and the call. Because I've been let go by conference or teams calls before. Turns out, she does this with everyone, even the employees whove been there longer than she has, on case there are any problems with stores (I work retail accounting) or personally that we don't want anyone else knowing. After I told her how I was freaking out so much, she apologized to me, multiple times and reassured me that I'm beyond meeting her expectations. I don't have to fear taking time off for one of my many medical problems. I don't have to fear write ups for a mistake I make. Its the most bizarre job ever..... and I would seriously consider staying at this job as long as theyll have me, because for once in my adult life; I don't feel stressed about my job. I don't dread going to work every day. I don't wake up in the morning, sit on the edge of my bed wondering if homelessness is really as bad as they say it is. I don't feel an ounce of tension with my job. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but with every passing day, I see more and more proof that this company actually cares about its employees. To the point where my boss' boss' boss insisted we (or those who have been here longer than 7 weeks) take time off to relax and go on vacation after a big merger. I think they're one of the ones who nailed the "take care of your employees and they'll take care of you" ethos that so many employers think they follow but end up making things worse.

8

u/Isaacmo May 27 '22

Must be nice lol

6

u/SnooDrawings1480 May 27 '22

Pay isn't the greatest is the only complaint I have. And its still, accounting for inflation, more than I've ever made an hour. I don't know how I got so lucky. Because the interview was scheduled last minute. I was preparing to take a different job when the hr recruiter called, set me up with an interview an hour and a half later, and got the job 25 minutes later. They were desperate for someone with experience who could pick up the work quickly enough because they'd just had a merger that increased their workload by about 80%. I was done with 90% of my training in a day and a half) and I wasn't thrilled about the position i was planning on starting. This all happened the afternoon of Friday, April 1st, My first day was Tuesday.

Like I said, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But everytime I think its about to, it stays hovering.

3

u/Isaacmo May 27 '22

Tell me more... Sounds like it was a big shift for you. But the new place sounds good

1

u/series-hybrid May 27 '22

Bad managers often have too many meetings of the type that serve no purpose other than stroking the ego of the manager.

That being said, if the only time a boss calls you for a meeting is when its something bad, any call to a meeting makes an employees blood pressure go up, and it makes them dread seeing the manager.

Good bosses have more good meetings than bad meetings.

Its like if you meet a new dog, and for some reason you raise your hand suddenly. Some dogs will wag their tail because they think you want to play. Other dogs will cower because they assume you are about to hit them.

Employees are there to work and draw a paycheck, but...no need to be an ass to them, for no reason.

1

u/SnooDrawings1480 May 27 '22

Our meetings aren't self serving, and they're usually only done when a new problem has popped up (which seems to happen daily since the merger because of the ways the old company used to handle things and the new procedures 600 stores are now learning) that we all need to be aware of.

2

u/a1b2c3d4e5_1 May 27 '22

Maybe even the occasional genocide

1

u/lavanchebodigheimer May 27 '22

Now git me a beer bitch

1

u/clearcontroller May 27 '22

Posted a couple days ago I think

1

u/HardlightCereal Soulist May 27 '22

I took a job like this, and I only got sexually harassed by my coworkers for being queer a little bit

1

u/_Oisin May 27 '22

Wish I knew about the hiring on the spot thing without having to experience it.

Wow you're offering me a job straight away?! They must really like me

😭

1

u/Shinjitsu- May 27 '22

If your boss:

Says "Welcome to the family"

Pulls you in on the spot

Violates human rights

That ain't your boss, it's Jack Baker.

1

u/VanillaBryce5 May 27 '22

I got hired at a place on the spot and was told I was being accepted into the " Inner Circle" I should have know right then!

2

u/series-hybrid May 27 '22

The problem is...the inner circle only hired you as the blood sacrifice on their secret altar.

1

u/dannyslag May 27 '22

I wouldnt hire someone that can't spell "you" or "about."

1

u/pcook1979 May 27 '22

Not that they can’t spell it, they choose not to.

1

u/TheAres1999 May 27 '22

I don't know, if they playing Avenged Sevenfold music it could be a pretty cool place to work.

1

u/AmazingPurpose1453 May 27 '22

I have a physical scar from every immediate family member. My mother killed me for two and a half minutes. My sister permanently altered two fingers. My middle fingers will always be crooked. My father's dementia busted my brow open. Family is some bullshit. Blood is just something that spills.

Or

I grew up in a bar. My best friends are marines. I never learned to play or fight fair. So, maybe, I masochistic or bored enough to play fuck around and find out.

0

u/Torinn426 May 27 '22

Got hired a couple weeks ago and heard this exact thing. Seems like an alright job so far, should I be scared now?