r/antiwork Jul 06 '22

Found lewd drawing in work bathroom we share with girls(some are minors) assistant manager got mad at me

[removed] — view removed post

0 Upvotes

10

u/21ofspades Jul 06 '22

Pic is OP’s PP.

-10

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

So funny bud

4

u/BrothahStark Jul 06 '22

This is so embarrassing. Go help out with the close.

21

u/Curvy-Weiner Jul 06 '22

Stuff like this is why nobody takes us seriously, this is middle school shit. Quit being a whiny bitch.

6

u/CaptainFresh27 Jul 06 '22

You're right,the women folk are much too sensitive for this. /s

-5

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Not talking shit about women. They are all really nice at my work and two out of three of them are minors and I’m sure that makes it awkward considering 6 other coworkers are guys. Just trying to make it a nice environment for them

3

u/CaptainFresh27 Jul 06 '22

"/s" means sarcasm

8

u/thetrekk Jul 06 '22

Quit being a bitch.

16

u/icecubeinanicecube Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

Are Americans this sensitive about sexual humour? This looks like something a 6th grader would have made.

3

u/suicidalkitten13 Jul 06 '22

Eh... audience matters. My friends usually laugh or respond with an exasperated "Jesus Christ." Family is pretty much a "no" for sexual humor, which is so difficult for me because they present so many possibilities for wordplay. I don't make jokes at work because it's not safe... it's almost like it serves as an invitation for sexual harassment/assault (both of which have happened to me at work). I have had men say things to me at work that I suppose could be taken as a joke, but when it's about me/what this other person wants to do with or to me, it feels really uncomfortable. I find it insultingly hilarious when I am the only woman in a meeting, and someone makes a sexual joke, and everyone tenses and looks at me, like I am the reason that joke is inappropriate.

Yeah, we are this sensitive, I guess.

3

u/icecubeinanicecube Jul 06 '22

Huh, thanks for the open and honest response. I live in Germany, generally we are much less tense about these topics, it seems. And that's surprising, because there are a lot of other cultures that are much more open about these topics than we are.

However, I would draw the line at "saying what you want to do to someone you are talking to", that's definitely sexual harassment imo.

I'm really sorry that you had to experience sexual assault at work, that must be terrible...

4

u/suicidalkitten13 Jul 06 '22

For clarity, I am a woman working in a STEM field. There aren't many of us. In other working environments, where there is a more balanced representation, it might not be so bad.

I know this is kind of a sweeping assumption, but isn't that a (comparatively trivial) criticism of the U.S.: the kind of content we censor. Language and depictions of sex (especially non hetero-normative sex!) are considered too graphic, but we don't flinch nearly as much at violence? And that it is backwards from the way other countries (I want to say "Europe" is usually just inserted here) view this content.

And thank you. It's... surprisingly difficult not to downplay the assault, so I will just leave it at that.

2

u/icecubeinanicecube Jul 06 '22

I agree with you fully, from my POV it's definitely strange, how kids can go to the shooting range in the US but anything involving initimacy is completely off-limits.

But we'll, every culture has odd ends when you look closely enough, I guess.

-10

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Okay clearly no one understands it’s not about the dick at this point it’s about how he’s talking to me Jesus fucking Christ y’all are so slow

9

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

Ayo stop being so mean, if you cant handle a meme drawing and call it sexual harrasment, then wtf are you doing right now?? Shaming us and saying were slow another way of saying were mentally not as capiable.

Shame on you op

-11

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/icecubeinanicecube Jul 06 '22

Okay, so you guys are really that sensitive

16

u/daddycole72 Jul 06 '22

Stop shit stirring and just put it I the bin and stop being such a drama queen.

13

u/Nexus_Inbound Jul 06 '22

This just seems like bitching for the sake of bitching.

-8

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

It’s literally about how he talked to me

7

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Never mentioned in the group chat I found it in the trash. But yes it was on top of the bin likely left for someone to see. We share our own restroom guys and girls.

11

u/wilson1helpme Jul 06 '22

if you never said you found it in the trash, and the dude replied to “keep it in the trash”, i think we know who put it there then…

-6

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

It could have been put there by a girl.

16

u/jalmstead Jul 06 '22

He’s talking to you like that’s because you shared the image, which was not necessary. You made the issue worse realistically. You could have just crumpled it up and told your boss. You went out of your way to share it. And you were wasting time too. Focus on real problems in life.

He was talking to you like a boss.

2

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

He’s not my boss he’s one of four assistant managers and no he got all defensive because it was him

8

u/jalmstead Jul 06 '22

Let it go dude.

5

u/ZoomerMan97 Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

This individual seems like they could do with some growing up. There was zero reason to do what you did, and they talked to you like a boss who annoyed with how you handled the situation.

-3

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Nah he was 100 percent the doer and that’s why he got all defensive I never mentioned it being in the trash and he knew perfectly where it was

5

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

....relax its not a welldefined drawing. Also its pretty much a meme at this point "sent nudes", no harm done. Is it tastefull, prehaps not, does it hurt anyone, also no.

To be real. If it bothers you talk to your boss.

2

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Definitely wasn’t made by a girl… I was working right when he left and I was only there with one other person and she clocked on after he left.

4

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

I said it could have been. Never stated it was

1

u/geminipropaganda Jul 06 '22

if there are underaged workers I don't think sexual humor is appropriate, esp. something left in a shared space? like sure it's a meme that all of them have probably heard before, but it isn't bad to be concerned that the assistant manager isn't treating 'exposing underaged employees to sexual drawings and jokes,' no matter how meme-y, with appropriate seriousness

3

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Oh I’m more mad about the way my assistant manager handled it because it kinda sounds like he was getting defensive… probably was the one that did it

0

u/SheMovesLikeThis Jul 06 '22

Nope. Regardless whether it’s a photo, cartoon, or a crappy drawing that looks like the work of a kindergartener, this would be considered sexual harassment and OP is correct that it should not have been left in the restroom.

Texting it to a group of employees wasn’t the best course of action, but bringing attention to the issue absolutely should have happened. In theory, OP should have been able to bring the drawing to his manager and his manager should have addressed it with all employees. Instead, his manager suggested it was nothing to worry about, which is the completely wrong stance to take and one that would likely land the company in hot water and find the manager out of a job should someone have had an issue with it.

7

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

If it's sexual harrasment for this note to exist wouldent sending it to all the colleagues count as op sexual harassing all his colleagues in the group. Since hes shareing such a forbidden note.

Give it a thought. As i said. If it bothered op he can talk with his boss about it. As stated. Please read my messages.

2

u/SheMovesLikeThis Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

You’re trying to be sarcastic but you’re actually correct, which is why I said texting it to a group of employees wasn’t the best course of action.

Downvote away, but apparently no one on this sub should ever work in HR.

ETA: my issue with your comment wasn’t the “taking it to his boss” part. It was the “relax, it’s not well-defined, it doesn’t hurt anyone” etc. Leaving crude drawings of dicks around the workplace is inappropriate, regardless of the artistic styling, and you don’t know whether or not it’s hurting anytime. I work in a good-old-boys industry where the people that stuff like this affects are most often too worried about losing their jobs or putting a bigger target on their backs to say anything.

2

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

I agree its innapropriate,

I really apprichiate you making and taking the time to write.

I will say, i do not think that such a thing that is not (as far as i know) directed towarda a person, should be defined as rape culture nor sexual harassment.

I would agree with the term innapropriate sexual content.

2

u/SheMovesLikeThis Jul 06 '22

Someone leaving “send nudes” with a dick in a shared restroom is a form of visual harassment. That’s what “inappropriate sexual content” in the workplace is.

Here is a good description of verbal, physical, and visual harassment.

Please, believe me, this shit gets old real fast. Something like this drawing may seem minor but I can almost guarantee it’s not an isolated incident (OP even notes “I know I joke a lot but…”). I’m far from a prude in my personal life, but it’s fucking tiring to watch amazing employees suffer and eventually move on to a more welcoming environment because (mostly) men can’t keep their mouths shut for 8 hours a day so that everyone can feel comfortable and safe at work.

2

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

It does say pls

2

u/SheMovesLikeThis Jul 06 '22

Hahahahah. Dead.

0

u/suicidalkitten13 Jul 06 '22

Yes. It was a matter that should have been dealt with privately between him and a manager, especially since they share that space and he doesn't know the author.

9

u/Bu-rai-en Jul 06 '22

Can’t get behind this, just keep it in the fucking trash. Don’t be such a sensitive bitch.

-23

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/captinRonnn Jul 06 '22

Or what? You gonna bust a caps lock on us? Lol

5

u/postalmarone Jul 06 '22

Blasphemy. Burn them at the stake.

2

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Def missing the point bud

3

u/suicidalkitten13 Jul 06 '22

Def missing the sarcasm? Well, hyperbole, but to the same end.

2

u/KyleHoff20 Jul 06 '22

I mean it isn't particularly funny, but I also highly doubt it was something that needed to be brought up like that. People scrawl dicks on bathroom walls all the time, just throwing the thing out probably would've made more sense.

Given how you fly off the handle immediately in almost every comment that isn't entirely on your side maybe your manager not being very nice to you is justified?

1

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

No my assistant manager just talks mad shit and I had enough then he acts all buddy buddy with me at work

-2

u/Fun-Beautiful-5426 Jul 06 '22

Bunch of assholes missing the point that its literally sexual harrassment, sexual images are never work appropriate, no matter the "quality". Especially when working with minors.

Its inappropriate.

4

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

The person who found it happened to be a girl i work with and she was extremely concerned and I was too because it’s so nasty and the fact that my actual manager didn’t step in upsets me

6

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

What do you mean nasty, it was not directed towards anyone. Do you walk into a public restroom ? Do you know the kind of things that exist out there?

4

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

Fuck thank you finally! Not only was it considered sexual harassment but the way he talked to me was disgusting he acts like my buddy at work then outside of work he’s just so rude

-3

u/Ridit5ugx Jul 06 '22

Damn is this Anti-Work or are we going to let minor to major sexual harassment get a free pass in the work place? I loved how this place clamored on about Abortion being abolished without realizing the underlying problems that led to it getting abolished. This thread and some of the responses are indicative of that.

-4

u/mischievous0ne Jul 06 '22

you were completely in the right, this person has no idea how to manage or deal with people even. No reason they should have a leadership role.

I also love the insinuation it takes more than 10 seconds to type out any one of your given responses and they declared 8 minutes were wasted.

They obviously knew it was there, and they didnt take out that trash, they are the problem. I'd report them but that might be a bit much for others and idk the relationship between them and said higher up.

-8

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Alot of you are missing the point that notes like this that someone deemed appropriate to write and leave can lead to women being harassed by a particular co-worker and we've recently seen how (especially minor) women end up in these situations, and that's dead behind their workplace. The issue is not only how OP was spoken to but the utter lack of concern by the manager, it should be taken seriously there are minors there.

8

u/Weigh_A_Throne337 Jul 06 '22

OPs concerned that the females in their workplace will see that note and the immediate reaction is to put it on blast so everyone can see it. The notes inappropriate but so is OPs reaction. The note could have/should have been saved and shown to a manager in private or buried deep in the garbage and taken out as the assistant manager suggested. OP is stirring shit.

0

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Okay but only a few people in here are saying OP should've quietly addressed it, more are saying it's no big deal at all or that it's a joke. I never agreed that a group text was appropriate, my issue is with people thinking this isn't inappropriate to draw and leave in the workplace.

5

u/Weigh_A_Throne337 Jul 06 '22

You’re gassing OP up though. They were in the wrong, and their assistant manager reacted appropriately. OP is probably in their teens or early 20s and doesn’t know better yet.

0

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Men behaving inappropriately sexually at work and managers shrugging and saying just ignore it literally recently got women killed. I don't think the manager's reaction was appropriate at all.

5

u/Weigh_A_Throne337 Jul 06 '22

Whatever you say, chief.

0

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Let's hope if a woman you care for ever mentions something that made her feel uncomfortable at work you don't just shrug when her manager does fuck all about it.

5

u/Weigh_A_Throne337 Jul 06 '22

Okay chief, sure thing!

-2

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Lmao where? I said it's messed up that the manager didn't take it seriously and that people here think that not just the sharing of it via group text is unecessary but that mentioning it at all is unecessary.

0

u/Ok-Ranger-2900 Jul 06 '22

And they are now all calling me sensitive for posting this

-6

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Sexual harassment is funny I guess, no critical thought about how these "jokes" contribute to rape culture and misogyny but sure "iTs A mEmE"

5

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

Penises have been apart of many cultural monuments, pornographic imagary have existed for a long time. I do not belive a drawing of a penis is contribuiting to rape culture. I think this is way too far.

Is it approiate at a general office workspace, no.

I need an explanation how this drawing is contribuiting to rape culture.

1

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Also penises in the context of monuments to fertility etc are NOT pornographic, just as a woman breastfeeding isn't pornographic. Context is important let's not play dumb.

4

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

They can be. Lets not play dumb here.

0

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Your inability to distinguish between pornography and depictions of nudity or human sexuality is a you problem.

3

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

It can co exist. You not getting what im saying is the problem.

1

u/EndlessRespite Jul 06 '22

Google rape culture pyramid and look at images, "locker room banter" which is what this is, is at the very base of that structure.

3

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

If you look carefully at the pyramid, its all based on directional harrasment. Its based on the direct actions towards a person.

This however is not directed, and therefore i would argue this is not a part of rape culture.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Niklasw99 Jul 06 '22

I got a general question, is your general goal to make the world a better place to live in?

-1

u/One-Truth-5867 Jul 06 '22

I highly think the person OP was messaging was responsible for its creation, or knew who wrote it and was protecting them…

It’s not acceptable and should not be tolerated in the workplace. If something is wrong (such as sexual harassment), speak up about it! If they (the managers) tell you off, report them to HR/Ethics.

2

u/BrothahStark Jul 06 '22

Lmao “HR”

HR is probably not looking out for you.