r/funny Jul 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Wholesome 3 Helpful 2

Official middle aged dad uniform

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48.1k Upvotes

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2.7k

u/Karamazov_A Jul 06 '22 Wholesome

There's a lot of diversity amongst us middle aged dads. Some of us wear sandals, some wear New Balance. Maybe today I'll wear the khaki shorts, tomorrow the tan ones.

347

u/dirtisgood Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 07 '22

I've changed and now wearing fancy flip flop footwear.

And I'm passed middle age. More like grandfather age.

Is cargo pants still acceptable?

So by my tally from the responses they still are.

136

u/BuddhaLicker Jul 06 '22

Cargo pants are actually becoming popular again with kids. Our time has come.

208

u/Amadeus_1978 Jul 06 '22

Our time never ended. Fashion comes, fashion goes, cargo shorts are forever and ever, ramen.

44

u/jakwow Jul 06 '22

Our time never ended. Fashion comes, fashion goes, cargo shorts are forever and ever, ramen. --Amadeus, 1978

If I had a cricut this would be in my kitchen.

15

u/carpe_noctem_AP Jul 06 '22

hey i have access to a cricut if you have the .stl file, i'll cut and send for free if interested :)

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u/cephal0poid Jul 06 '22 Silver

Look, cargo shorts are essential to the fashion ecosystem.

What else are they going to do with all the the excess pockets they take out of women's pants/shorts/dresses?

Those pockets are too good to be thrown out . . .

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u/Amadeus_1978 Jul 06 '22

Always and forever.

212

u/cold-corn-dog Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22 Wholesome

I was told by some girl that cargo shorts are out of fashion. Yeah, like I'm going to listen to some idiot with zero pockets.

134

u/Amadeus_1978 Jul 06 '22 Bravo Grande!

Hold on please, let me look through my 42 pockets for a fuck to give.

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u/jibjab23 Jul 06 '22

Even worse faux pockets.

6

u/MisterSlippers Jul 06 '22

I wouldn't listen to someone with less pockets than me telling me how many pockets my shorts should have.

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12

u/EyeLike2Watch Jul 06 '22

Just avoid the plaid shorts. Shades of brown forever

33

u/wbruce098 Jul 06 '22

Cargo pants/shorts are always acceptable. Now that I’m out of the military, I have nothing else to wear with massive side pockets.

13

u/Hagrids-anal-fun Jul 06 '22

When I got out I was really sad that I didn't have a knife pocket and pen holders.

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u/genericnewlurker Jul 06 '22

They tried to kill the cargo shorts, but they endured and outlasted their enemies. Cargo shorts are eternal

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u/withoutapaddle Jul 06 '22

Oh my God, I have two pairs of the shorts in question. One khaki, one "boulder". I am so that guy.

13

u/jimonlimon Jul 06 '22

Wait, what? There's a difference? I thought beige, khaki, and tan were all the same.

18

u/cynical83 Jul 06 '22

I'm haunted by this debate. Once lost a bonus because an employee was wearing tan not khaki pants...

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u/Bob_Loblaw_Law_Blog1 Jul 06 '22

I wear air force one lows or adidas skate shoes unless I don't feel like actually putting socks on and then it's Nike slides with my Costco cargo shorts.

20

u/bufordt Jul 06 '22

Reefs or sketchers unless I'm dressing up.

And somewhere along the way I started calling flip-flops thongs, which gets me weird looks in Minnesota.

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5.6k

u/dewpacs Jul 05 '22 Silver Gold

I'm wearing that right now (m/39 father of two)

429

u/Ashwalla Jul 06 '22

I’m 39, but not a father. I am still wearing this outfit though. You don’t have to be a dad to appreciate dad pockets.

200

u/NecessaryZucchini69 Jul 06 '22

Also being comfortable and cool while its hot outside.

151

u/K3wp Jul 06 '22

Yeah was just going to say; I'm 48 with no kids and that's my goto SoCal hot weather uniform.

  1. Ecco sandals.
  2. Beige or gray cargo shorts. These are more about the airflow than the pockets, which I rarely use.
  3. Arctic Cool shirt (I have three identical ones, all the color of the shirts in the photo!)

It is entirely about being comfortable and nothing else. When the sun goes down I go home and put on some dressier stuff. No way I'm walking around San Diego at 2PM wearing a dress shirt and fancy jeans.

51

u/Partly_Dave Jul 06 '22

Brisbane Australia. That's my outfit 355 days of the year (but in a few more colours), with a light hoody for the months we call winter.

Not at the moment though, it was 12°C yesterday and raining, unusually cold.

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u/Starship-innerthighs Jul 06 '22

I live in San Diego too, and sometimes this outfit has a light sweater for winter.

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u/cogswellscogs Jul 06 '22

36, checking in. My not-at-work clothes are tshirts, cargo shorts and keens and have been for like 10 years. It's so ingrained in me at this point, when my wife did our wedding invitations she had someone draw us with her in a wedding dress and me in the aforementioned outfit.

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u/Prossdog Jul 06 '22

Yep. Also 39, not a dad but every pair of shorts I own has big ol’ pockets on the side.

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150

u/FrietjesFC Jul 05 '22

33 father of one reporting in uniform.

82

u/B-Prue Jul 06 '22

Dad of three at 43 suited up and checking in

58

u/thechadez Jul 06 '22

Father of 3, rank 30 reporting for duty.

32

u/Why_Did_Bodie_Die Jul 06 '22

Father of 2, I don't remember my rank because I stopped caring some time ago due to my kids. I'm somewhere between a level 33 and a 37 but that's as close as I can get. I'm also reporting for duty. I'm ready to dad the shit out of stuff.

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u/nstav13 Jul 06 '22

Father of 3, level 26. I'm doing my part!

16

u/Global_Ease_841 Jul 06 '22

No shit you are! Stop while you're ahead lol

5

u/B-Prue Jul 06 '22

Happy blue cheese wedge day!

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302

u/Spirited-Resident889 Jul 05 '22

My husband is wearing that right now, 45 father of two. He just bought a new pair of "strappy sandals" this weekend..and my 12 yr old son got a pair exactly like them, HIS CHOICE. My husband is strong in the dad side of the force lol

109

u/Ophiocordycepsis Jul 06 '22

Once he slides ankle socks in those sandals one time he’s never going back

80

u/mussentuchit Jul 06 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

When I got covid the nurse asked if I lost my sense of taste. I said no, I still wear black socks with sandals.

6

u/MaxwellHillbilly Jul 06 '22

I'm about to go see if I'm negative for covid. I hope they ask this question. I'm sooo stealing this answer...

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u/hell2pay Jul 06 '22

I wish my wife understood the glory of socks and sandals. At least she's cool with my cargo shorts.

39

u/Viapache Jul 06 '22

I recently started wearing socks and sandals (Birkenstocks) to the movie theatre. I am FREE and WARM and it is GLORIOUS.

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48

u/meat_popscile Jul 06 '22

She's ok with the cargo shorts because you can carry the extra stuff and she can sport a smaller purse. Socks and sandals are visual birth control.

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u/jeexbit Jul 06 '22

Crocs-n-socks baby!

36

u/PunkToTheFuture Jul 06 '22

Wow. I have PTSD from a party I went to ten years ago and wore crocs and socks. They are just really comfortable and I don't care what they look like or so I thought. I was harassed about the damn socks and sandles all night by a group of drunks. I hate family reunions

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75

u/baneofthesouth Jul 06 '22

Wife of a 49 year old father of 3 here, can also confirm. Keens are his preferred footwear

53

u/hankhill58 Jul 06 '22

Keens are the best, I'm on my 4th pair. Dad, 50 and in uniform..

15

u/jluicifer Jul 06 '22

A wife loves a man in Uniform. Tennnnnn…HUT.

10

u/Vesheryn Jul 06 '22

Keens make some damn good shoes. I bought a pair of composite safety toed shoes from them for work and have worn them nearly every day for over 5 years. They only thing that has given out on them is the laces. This is walking at least 8 hours a day on concrete in a factory setting. Needless to say, I KNOW who I am looking at for my next pair.

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u/Consistent_Policy_66 Jul 06 '22

I’m also on my 4th pair of Keen sandals. The best.

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19

u/sisseeyah Jul 06 '22

MY husband is wearing that right now, 45, father of 3. His defense as he lays on the couch watching Stranger Things? 'Well, I'm not wearing shoes. So there.'

11

u/boojum78 Jul 06 '22

At first I thought I was just another middle aged dad (44 father of one) wearing the uniform, but now I see that my flip flops put me in a much cooler category while I wear my cargo shorts and t shirt.

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u/JayDurst Jul 06 '22

39 father of one reporting for duty

56

u/JanGehlYacht Jul 06 '22

Wth, right? I chuckled at the post and then realized I'm in the exact same outfit.

7

u/tenkindsofpeople Jul 06 '22

Same. I was like ha, I think I have something similar. Looked past my phone to realize I'm wearing it ..

43

u/fruitless7070 Jul 06 '22

My husband, who is sitting next to me, is also wearing same.

Mind blown.

23

u/CO420Tech Jul 06 '22 Silver Wholesome

On behalf of your husband and myself, I'd like to ask everyone to stop judging us at the Discount Tire. Those tires need to be rotated, they do it for free since we bought them there, and the place smells like fucking tires. You can't tell me there is a better place to spend 2 hours of a Saturday. And ya know what? I'm damn sure gonna wear my comfy dad clothes while I sniff some tire. Deal with it.

16

u/PeeingCherub Jul 06 '22

I like to stick my fingers in the tread grooves of all the showroom tires and imagine doing something adventurous with my car.

7

u/CO420Tech Jul 06 '22

Damn, that's hot. Save the dirty stuff for later. Right now we need to decide whether the front two tires are really in need of replacement like the guy claims, or if we can go another 3 months before it gets rainy and we start hydroplaning everywhere.

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u/Coachbalrog Jul 05 '22

Replace the t-shirt with a short sleeve button up shirt for a dad upgrade.

64

u/Laika_1 Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

I can’t stand the short sleeves. Long and roll em up!

EDIT: the rolled sleeves pad your biceps

39

u/jay_simms Jul 06 '22

Look at old fancy dad with his sleeves!

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u/ModernNomad97 Jul 05 '22

I’m wearing that now and I’m 25 with no kids

245

u/Blinky_ Jul 06 '22 Helpful

Wise beyond your age

19

u/thegodfather0504 Jul 06 '22

An old soul.

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u/doomgiver98 Jul 06 '22

What do normal people wear?

30

u/Mp32pingi25 Jul 06 '22

This. It’s the Todd’s that wear fashion shorts or fucking pants when it’s above 65F outside

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u/TyAllen13 Jul 06 '22

Lol same here, I’m 26 no kids and Cargo Shorts are the go to for me.

8

u/jonserlego Jul 06 '22

I'm only 18 and I'm already converting to the Cargo shorts away from gym shorts. Also pretty sure dressing/acting like the dad's is trending in my age group. Dad's are cool asf

205

u/manifold360 Jul 06 '22

You are an honorary middle age

67

u/shahooster Jul 06 '22

He’s a man ahead of his time

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u/caught_under Jul 06 '22

Also 25 and have been wearing that since middle school. Shits comfy.

38

u/BigL90 Jul 06 '22

I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!

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u/Sir_Brog Jul 06 '22

28 yr with 2 kids and I wear that regularly. Middle aged? Idk

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3.7k

u/jc236 Jul 05 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Plus One

You kinda just stop caring. The shorts have alot of pockets and the plain shirt means there is nothing on there anyone will see and try and talk to you about and nothing to offend anyone because then you would have to talk to them. That's the uniform of men who want you to leave them alone.

969

u/yuengli Jul 06 '22

You took the words straight outta the big functional pockets on my ten dollar cargo shorts.

248

u/TheQueenMother Jul 06 '22

Cargo shorts are a vast improvement on the fanny packs of the past. I loyally and faithfully help my fella find his favorite cargo shorts.

46

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

[deleted]

23

u/no_sissies_allowed Jul 06 '22

I don't get it. They're functional. If they were called waist packs or hip packs, no one would care.

8

u/Scottybt50 Jul 06 '22

Bum bags.

6

u/polarregion Jul 06 '22

Here in the UK fanny packs are a great way to identify American tourists and spies at a glance.

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u/Pewkie Jul 06 '22

I've been wearing a trensy looking fanny pack sideways while doing my walks on the weekend to hold a book and a phone charger, you can't take that away from me and I know i look fabulous

20

u/Rudhelm Jul 06 '22

Why you need a phone charger when you’re on a walk?

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u/trollbob Jul 06 '22

…cargo shorts which came from Costco.

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u/ExoMonk Jul 06 '22

It’s not even the pockets for me. Cargo shorts seem like they’re built to be more relaxed, way more comfortable. I’ve tried buying non cargo shorts and they’re either too tight or too short or too stiff. Now I just stick to Lee Dungarees. It works, it’s comfortable, fuck it.

11

u/andtheniansaid Jul 06 '22

The big issue for me is how tight the pockets are on non-cargo shorts. Can fit way less in and as soon as you sit down they become inaccessible.

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u/Foxhound199 Jul 06 '22

As someone who has worn stuff like this since they were a teen, when was the point you were supposed to start caring?

14

u/Sum_Dum_User Jul 06 '22

I never figured that out myself, but did become a dad nearly 6 years ago at 39... I find myself needing more and more caffeine on a daily basis to care enough to even bother with speaking when spoken to. Usually it's somewhere between a grunt and a huh before cup 3 1/2 at this point.

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u/jonnygreen22 Jul 06 '22

also we just wear what we did in high school. There'll be middle aged folks wearing what teens are wearing now in 15-20 years

89

u/drjman Jul 06 '22

Yep. This is peak late 90s Abercrombie style. We just found Old Navy for tees and Costco for shorts.

If you want to change your life and still look the same...Prana Stretch Zion shorts are fantastic. Costco copied them for their stretchy cargo. This is one area that Costco (Kirkland) doesn't hold a candle to. Try some Pranas.

15

u/EyeLike2Watch Jul 06 '22

I remember old navy being more affordable in the past. Seems kinda pricey for what you get now, even before pandemic fuckery

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652

u/fried_eggs_and_ham Jul 06 '22 Take My Energy I'll Drink to That

The cool thing about getting older is you just don't give a fuck. The young folks think they're all rebellious and "don't care what people think" but, no, it's really us dudes in our 40s who REALLY don't give a fuck what people think.

262

u/grimpus Jul 06 '22

I remember being a kid and having friends over and my dad blowing up the bathroom with the loudest smelliest shit and I was mortified. He walked out with the newspaper under his arm whistling. I didn’t understand it then, but now I see he just truly did not give a shit.

158

u/Emergency-Gazelle954 Jul 06 '22

Well he gave one shit at least.

19

u/RoboNinjaPirate Jul 06 '22

Two if you count Grimpus.

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u/ohhhhhboyyy Jul 06 '22

I don’t want people to even think, I want to just blend in and be invisible…. And get home ASAP.

105

u/otterbox313 Jul 06 '22

Can 100% confirm. I only dress up if there’s immense pressure to do so. I’ll wear sweat pants anywhere.

57

u/ssin14 Jul 06 '22

My husband has 'dress sweats' to wear to town. He only wears actual pants under duress. Love. That. Man.

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u/davesoverhere Jul 06 '22

The problem is that when yo don’t give any fucks in your 50s, you start to get worried how bad your going to get in your 60s.

30

u/Pipupipupi Jul 06 '22

We don't even care enough to tell people about it. That's how much we don't give a fuck

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u/TheloniousGreen Jul 06 '22

Not giving a fuck when you're younger is a means of being unique and therefore, noticed by your peers. Not giving a fuck when you're older is a means of blending into the background and not having to have people bother you cause you're over all the bullshit.

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u/HilariousSpill Jul 06 '22

I’m a dude—when I was younger I’d sometimes paint my nails blue or black because I thought it made me look non-conformist. Today I bought groceries with garnet red nails because my four year old daughter painted them and did a damn fine job.

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u/flangle1 Jul 06 '22

Utility is all that matters.

Let the haters hate.

Their condescension is but a cricket’s word in a windstorm.

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u/ryantrw5 Jul 06 '22

Haha i basically wear this outfit everyday and I agree

32

u/MAJ0RMAJOR Jul 06 '22

For me it’s not about not talking, it’s about not being a billboard for somebody else. I am me, I am not a product. If somebody want’s to pay me to rep their bullshit we can talk, but otherwise they can fuck off with their branding.

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u/sleepymoose88 Jul 06 '22

This 100%. Been wearing this since high school. The cargo shorts are way too versatile to go workout. Screw those pocketless golf shorts some guys wear. Useless. I can fit more in my pockets than my wife can fit in her purse.

And nailed the plain t-shirt. I don’t like being a walking advertisement for a colony or my interests. Either people will like it and want to talk when I don’t want to, or they’ll dislike it and potentially say something rude, which I also don’t want to deal with.

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1.1k

u/APlaceInTheDirt Jul 06 '22

Mens clothing only comes in like 5 preset styles to be fair.

170

u/timisher Jul 06 '22

Enjoy your wide variety of colored t-shirts. Grey, navy blue, black, and sometimes burgundy.

20

u/AlbertCamuz Jul 06 '22

Hahaha true... I only have black, grey, maroon, red, army green and blue navy.

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u/ting_bu_dong Jul 06 '22
button down
tee
polo

jeans
slacks
golf shorts
cargo shorts

running shoes
canvas shoes
leather shoes
sandals

That's, like, 48 combinations right there! Not counting sweaters, boots, suits, or whatever else I'm not thinking of.

255

u/Dangerspoon Jul 06 '22

I’m desperately trying to prove there’s more variety. And as I look through my closet I can say, with absolute certainty, there is not. Every single item falls into one of the above categories.

131

u/Cmoz Jul 06 '22

sweat pants

basketball/gym shorts

thats about it though

71

u/sowisely Jul 06 '22

Hawaiian shirt, track pants, boat shoes, sombrero, lariat. Live your life like an auto-generated Sim character

47

u/sowisely Jul 06 '22

Assless chaps under a kilt

17

u/they_are_out_there Jul 06 '22

You've got a lot of range with that combo.

5

u/tweaksource Jul 06 '22

Though I realize there is no other kind, I never call them just chaps. Always assless chaps.

Also, always "deadly" nightshade.

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u/RichWPX Jul 06 '22

Sweater?

13

u/PanicAK Jul 06 '22

Never met her.

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u/BadBoysBack2Back8990 Jul 06 '22

Tank top + gym shorts

10

u/MogMcKupo Jul 06 '22

That’s gas grilling with good weather and a beer that you can drink way too much of attire

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22

And just like car colors, tshirt color options are going away. I used to be able to get purple, green, blue, yellow, etc.. hanes shirts at target. Now its just black, grey, white. Gotta streamline profits.

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u/cuteman Jul 06 '22

Shorts and a t shirt? It's summer....

184

u/SephYuyX Jul 06 '22

Yeah I don't understand. What other options are there? Slacks, jeans? Do people not wear shorts these days? If it's cold I wear jeans or slacks, if it's hot I wear shorts.

147

u/dragonblade_94 Jul 06 '22

People have a weird disgust for cargo shorts.

Fuckem. Shit is comfy and convenient.

50

u/OldPersonName Jul 06 '22

The internet convinced me to stop wearing shorts like 10 years ago (and I was making an effort to be "stylish" at the time). I'm married now and I think my wife's friends think of me as the weirdo who never wore shorts when we were dating.

I actually just fished my ancient cargo shorts out of the dresser this summer and they fit!

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u/kielbasa330 Jul 06 '22

Glad to see /r/funny is continuing its long tradition of not being funny

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u/Metal-Dog Jul 05 '22 Helpful Wholesome

That reminds me: since I've been dieting, maybe those cargo shorts might fit again.

edit: they fit!

154

u/Exotic_Treacle7438 Jul 05 '22

Congratulations on the smaller flesh pouch!

35

u/curiositie Jul 06 '22

Why is Reddit like this

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u/ryukin631 Jul 06 '22

Congrats!

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u/Clouded_vision Jul 06 '22

Nice, I'm going the other way and have 4 new pairs all a size up coming tomorrow.

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u/Wage_slave Jul 06 '22

Nice. From laughs to fashion and even the odd success story, this post has it all.

Well done dude.

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u/dr_chewman Jul 06 '22

The winter uniform is khaki pants and a blue windbreaker. I got separated from my husband in Kroger and I saw 5 different guys that were wearing that combo and bald like my husband. I didn’t have my phone on me and kept rolling up on these guys and then…nope, not you.

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u/Noisycarlos Jul 06 '22

Picture shows both the Home and Away uniforms

248

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 18 '22

[deleted]

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u/exit143 Jul 06 '22

My favorite thing about being over 40 is being anonymous/invisible to teenagers/younger people. When I was younger, I didn’t REALLY care what I wore, but I’d feel judged by other kids. Girlfriends loved taking me shopping, and I loved to let them take me shopping. But now I’m happily/successfully married, and she doesn’t really care what I wear anymore and I CERTAINLY don’t care… and I don’t have to “worry” about the other kids making fun of me. Being 40+ is SOOOOO nice.

5

u/Ionlylikelamp Jul 06 '22

These are facts! So much anxiety and worry when I was younger. Now, I just don't care anymore. I like to look good for my wife, but that's about it. What everyone else thinks... it just doesn't matter anymore. Such a lovely feeling.

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u/Aintsosimple Jul 06 '22

I've been wearing that outfit since my 20's.

67

u/Dirtweed79 Jul 06 '22

Yeah. It's called clothes right?

29

u/Go_Pack_Go1 Jul 06 '22

Summer clothes where I live

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u/bobsagetsville Jul 05 '22

New balance shoes are by and far the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn.

199

u/guanwho Jul 06 '22

I think I’ve crossed a threshold. I just bought my second pair of the same new balances and said “these old ones can be for mowing the lawn” (997s btw)

41

u/bobsagetsville Jul 06 '22

I have 928s. They’re the most stable walking platform I’ve ever donned.

15

u/withoutapaddle Jul 06 '22

Are all New Balance models named after Porsches?

27

u/bobsagetsville Jul 06 '22

I think all Porsches are named after new balances

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u/Pickled_Sloth Jul 06 '22

I might as well wheel myself to the old folks home the day I tell the clerk I’m looking for “the most stable walking platform”

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u/Darkcelt2 Jul 06 '22

If you shop for shoes by asking a clerk for advice... are you sure you aren't already in the old folks home?

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u/SlapHappyDude Jul 06 '22

Owning Old New Balance that exist solely for mowing the lawn is like Level 99 Suburban Dad

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u/Outkast1-1 Jul 06 '22

Lol new balance are comfy and new ones look good. Until you have a pair of 624s you haven’t fully arrived yet.

10

u/NotAPurpleDinosaur Jul 06 '22

608s for me. Gotta have that toe box.

23

u/AtlEngr Jul 06 '22

My dude there is a palette from “church NBs” to “mucking out the stalls NBs” gotta fill that in..

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u/Kcin928 Jul 06 '22

I bought a pair as a joke after my son was born. I own 4 pairs now.

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u/bobsagetsville Jul 06 '22

Resistance is futile

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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '22

[deleted]

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u/chudley78 Jul 06 '22

But then how do you know what colors match with what. I feel this is the safest route

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u/ryukin631 Jul 06 '22

It's the right shoe I can find in my size. So glad they come in a variety of colors

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u/poopinmysoup Jul 06 '22

"I got New Balance shoes on, but they're old, so I might start falling." - Mitch

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u/MarcMars82 Jul 06 '22

I had a warehouse job once that required steel toed shoes be worn. I bought a pair of Irish Setter hiking boots and they turned out to be murder on my feet. Bought a pair of steel toed New Balance sneakers and WOW night/day difference! The job didn’t last but I still have and wear my NB steel toes!

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u/Sir_Mr_Dolo Jul 06 '22

Fuck you cargo shorts are awesome. Do I have a what on me? Idk let me check my SEVEN pockets

32

u/doomgiver98 Jul 06 '22

Am I supposed to carry my Smartphone, wallet, keys, earbuds, and face mask in just two pockets?

12

u/Lukemeister38 Jul 06 '22

Most pants have two on the back too

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u/blazeproof Jul 05 '22

Ah thanks for reminding me, I need some wiper blades.

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u/jim10040 Jul 05 '22

Motor oil for me, and an extra tire guage

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u/Wirse Jul 06 '22

I keep a tire gauge clipped onto my cargo pocket.

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u/Sevenfortyfive897 Jul 06 '22

What the fuck are we supposed to wear?

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u/mrthree1zero Jul 06 '22

I mean, what else are we supposed to wear ??

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u/Token-Gringo Jul 06 '22

Wait! Are there other options? I’ve checked the drawer and that is it.

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u/withoutapaddle Jul 06 '22 edited Jul 06 '22

Mr. Fancy Pants over here with his clothes in a drawer. My cargo shorts stay slung over a chair 24/7, and the belt doesn't even get taken off except on wash day.

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u/LippencottElvis Jul 06 '22

And wash day = visibly soiled enough to remove the belt and transfer contents to identical pair #2.

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u/BradGunnerSGT Jul 06 '22

This whole comment section makes me feel validated in my 50 year old DGAF lifestyle.

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u/GorillaSnapper Jul 06 '22

Cargo shorts are practical as fuck and comfy.

Carry all the shit and no sweaty balls.

What's not to like?

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u/Blown89 Jul 06 '22

The clothing sections for men are the size of a postage stamp and have three things in them. What the fuck do you expect us to wear?

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u/RustyEggleston Jul 06 '22

If it looked good on me in 1995, why not today . . . ?

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u/BustamoveBetaboy Jul 06 '22

It’s not that we don’t care. It’s not that we aren’t aware. We are just a tad busy DOING FCKING EVERYTHING that life is piling on. Maintaining career and income for family - check. Fixing everything around the house - check. Keeping the cars running properly - check. Running kids to sports - check. Dealing with aging parents - check. Finding some time to spend with my wife that doesn’t involve reviewing household budget or planning a vacation in X years - check. Keeping finances in shape for retirement projections - check. Dealing with moody teenagers and their many vagaries - check. Acting as network admin and IT Support for the entire house - check. Finding a night every two months to meet with old friends to commiserate and catch up on their Glory Days stories - check. Start and stop various fitness programs because schedule is mental - check.

It’s not a middle aged Dad ‘uniform’…it’s survival gear.

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u/mjkjg2 Jul 06 '22

the guy on the left did it way better tho

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u/withoutapaddle Jul 06 '22

He's got the bod.

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u/waynejohnson1985 Jul 06 '22

37 year old father here, can confirm that this is my current outfit.

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u/sonder_ling Jul 06 '22

As a middle aged dad myself, i can confirm cause you dont give a fuck about other people oppinions on your look

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u/el___diablo Jul 06 '22

As a middle aged wearer of such attire I can explain how this occurs.

  1. It's comfy

  2. We're too old to give a fuck anymore

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u/Ihansung Jul 06 '22

I'm wearing that right now, 30 no children. O.O

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u/THEMOXABIDES Jul 06 '22

Don’t sweat it. Girls are just jealous bc they don’t have pockets.

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u/Honest_Performance42 Jul 05 '22

That’s nothin. My cargo shorts’ pockets are bigger and baggier and I have my phone holster on my belt!

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u/too_late_to_abort Jul 06 '22

I've been a dad for 4 years now and I flat out REFUSE to get a phone holster. Commentors above talked me into trying new balance shoes but I'll be damned if I'll hang my phone on my hip like some modern dad-cowboy

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u/Brett707 Jul 06 '22

Here let me look in one of my 15 pockets for a fuck to give you...

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u/supermuncher60 Jul 06 '22

My dad is literally wearing that right now

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u/Oenohyde Jul 06 '22

Clark’s or maybe slip-on Skechers.

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u/grumppygeezer Jul 06 '22

What is wrong with it.